Book of Blasphemy

Every little pill that helps you think, makes my mind a social fault

2005-12-30T20:17:00.000+08:00

I know, I know...the complaints have been rolling in...oh well

I'm not really sure whether I'm back into blogging or anything, but this is just a post of ecstatic-ness.

Today, oh today...

Today, I ordered the 'North & South' DVD from Amazon.com...and it will arive roughly around the end of January.

For those of you who don't know what 'North & South' is, GO AWAY!

It's BBC's adaptation of Elizabeth Gaskell's book...and I am madly in love with John Thornton. Have been for a while now...and the guy who plays him, Richard Armitage, couldn't have been more perfect.

Excited...

Going to watch 'Pride & Prejudice' on Monday. Hopefully it doesn't suck like the crap I've been subjected to lately.

JOHN THORNTON!!!

I resent a world I once regarded

2005-08-21T15:25:00.000+08:00

Hello children. Yes, I'm still alive. Nothing exceptional has really been going on so I haven't really been attuned to the blogging world. Anyway, this is an update of the events.

Passed my 'A' Levels
Got my license
Gupz (eldest brother) has gotten officially engaged
Got into Law
Doing 2 degrees (NOT double degree), in Law & Psychology
Accounting LCCI in November
Severe stress ahead
I'm legally changing my name next week...will update you on what it's going to be in a bit...it starts with an 'A' though
I'm closer to turning 20. Growing old...
James got a gig in NYC...he has informed me that one of the member's of Tiamat performed in the show yesterday...un-fucking-believable

I suppose that's more or less it. Shall post up my wishlist for my birthday (hint! hint!) in a few days.

And, I have new books! Yay! Muahahahahaha!

Okay, shall go now. Am in a lot of trouble. Have scratched the car once again...sigh...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!

2005-08-09T09:37:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't done the birthday wishing in a long time, but this person is important, so have a wonderful 27th (damn, can't find the underline button) and I hope the year through to your 28th is unbelievably eventful, in the good way of course! And that you're one of the best friends anyone could possibly ask for, and that Choir of Agony is kicking LAM's ass big time! Cheers mate! Ta!

Phantasma us much higher

2005-08-09T09:35:00.000+08:00

I have concluded that every 10 years, people should revamp their image. As such, people are prohibited from being stunned when I am in a skirt or heels...or even pink for that matter. Such behaviour will not be tolerated and abuse will ensue.

2005-06-20T18:25:00.000+08:00

There is pure poetry in complete sanity. The mornings where you wake up wondering what possibilities will come your way, the circumstances you look at with such optimism that it would break my heart to tell you that you're going to end up divorced at the age of 40 with 3 kids and no alimony.

When does the bright-eyed, fair-haired beauty turn into the middle aged hag with her roots showing? The downward spiral of such perfection. Inevitable...that's all.

I suppose I may be just plain bored....and tired...nyeh.

FINALLY!

2005-06-17T03:28:00.000+08:00

http://one.org

Please visit this site and leave your signature. It's one step in the many more required. And please spread the word. Thank you.

Go get your knife...

2005-06-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

Just a quick question. Can you actually call provinces just outside Germany "outskirts"? Wouldn't that be wrong?

0110 1001

2005-06-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

Apparently I HAVE to go to Singapore tomorrow. I am seriously not even looking forward to it in the slightest. Life has gone on without me, so why do I have to revert back to it? Stupid sinking piece of shit island dragging me down with it.

It seems not to matter that I have Accounting Paper 4 on Tuesday, out of which I'm daft on all the topics being tested. It's not even multiple choice, so that really isn't helping. Wednesday I've got a Lit paper. Much Ado About Nothing & John Donne. I mean, yes I don't exactly go out of my mind studying, but I'd like to be given the option. I'm just fucking tired. Sim has gone to India for a month and a half...This is a pain in the ass. I feel like puking.

I suppose I probably won't die. I won't be happy, but I won't die. It's almost as if the parental unit WANT me to fail! During my O's they moved house, now they're dragging me to Sg just because they don't want to leave me alone at home. I'm hardly 12. Turning 20, not exactly a child. Sigh...

I'm so, so tired.

I really hate some people on Ezboard

2005-05-29T08:04:00.000+08:00

Some people really have too much time (more than me, which makes me resentful!) :

This is a Charles Manson Tamagotchi game:

http://www.jbum.com/tama/tama.html

Of course, you will recall Tamagotchi. That stupid tiny handheld Japanese piece of shit for those lacking real pets. What a pathetic substitute. It came to a point where they had to start councelling groups for people whose "pets" died. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure it came with a reset button. How attached can you possibly get to an electronic pet? It's bloody weird shit. I am proud to say that I did NOT get sucked into the phoenomenon (sp?) that swept the nation (shitty sinking Singapore)!

Hangman...pretty fun actually...for a while:

http://www.quia.com/hm/21039.html

DIY Conspiracy Theory:

http://www.cjnetworks.com/~cubsfan/conspiracy.html

For those who enjoy ruining lives:

http://www.t0.or.at/vvv/vvv.htm

Oh well...I think I shall go to bed now. Goodnight! or morning. Whatever suits your fancy.

Never in my shoes...

2005-05-29T02:46:00.000+08:00

I'M HAPPY NOW! because I have realized that I am getting Bonjour Chocolate Chip Loaf tomorrow. Which means that I will never go hungry while watching Sopranos again! Yay! Bread! Okay okay. That's it then.

Drifting Memories

2005-05-29T02:06:00.000+08:00

Exams to date have been the absolute pits!

Let's start from the beginning shall we?

- Thinking Skills Paper 1 & 2 : Nobody really gives a shit cos it's a crappy subject.

- Literature Paper 4 : Macbeth by Shakespeare & The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams

What to say about those 2 papers. Macbeth was okay I suppose because I amazingly managed to figure out what was coming out. Glass Menagerie in general is a fucking stupid, irritating book. And the questions sucked, so it just made it a bitch altogether.

- Literature Paper 6: Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys & Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee

I feel like crying just talking about it. The open ended questions were so vague, and the scenes they gave just generally sucked like hell. For those of you who haven't read them, Wide Sargasso Sea is a response to Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre, and Jean Rhys is a stupid old Creole hag who wrote that book to piss me off. And the Edward Albee book has got absolutely nothing to do with Virginia Woolf. How the fuck do you answer a question asking for the differences stated between the Caribbean and England? British people should just die.

- Law Paper 1

It took me 15 minutes out of the 1 1/2 hours I have to write 3 essays to figure out what the fuck the questions were asking because these bastard examiners choose to quote idiots like Lord Steyn who ask questions which go all the way round the damn Mulberry bush and come back and kick you in the head! And then they ask you question about topics which nobody wants to study like Delegated Legislation! And Common Law & Equity! And fucking Lay Magistrates!!! Bastards!!!

- Law Paper 2

Depressing as it is, I did actually MISS this paper thanks to the shitty school I'm in. When they initially printed the exam dates outside the Exam centre, it stated that the paper was in the afternoon, and aparently it was in the morning. So 3 or 4 of us didn't go for the paper. And Ms. Bitch examiner Ms. Koh decides to not call any of us because we aren't as important as the Scholarship students. How fucking irresponsible are they intending to get? I find it strange that these people call us umpteen times when we don't attend classes, but they just don't bother when we miss exams. And these are the A Levels mind you, not the stupid shit trials. Unbelievable. I am seriously PISSED off! But, with all credit to my law teacher, who is taking this matter up with the school, may get us permission to do the papers before they ship them off to England. Interesting. We shall see.

- Literature Paper 3: Poems by John Keats & North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

The poem that came out for Keats is the most insignificantly boring poem they could find. It's called 'On Sitting Down to Read King Lear Once Again'. Doesn't the name just say it all? It is 14 lines long, and full of shit. Gaskell was okay though, so I shan't complain.

So that's that for now. Law Papers 3 & 4, Accounting & Lit P5 is left. June 10th it will be ALL over! Then I'm off to Australia in July! Can't wait. I'm bored out of my mind. Just can't wait for this crap to be over. Bleah!

Merry Christmas

2005-05-19T00:40:00.000+08:00

Everytime I switch on the TV nowdays, they're playing a movie about Christmas. Why didn't anyone tell me Christmas has been pulled forward to May? Stupid Christian propaganda.

My head has been hurting like hell for 2 whole days. Maybe I have a tumor.

Today was a day for strange sightings. Both of these incidents took place outside McDonald's at the same time.

So I was walking by, and just near the entrance of McDonald's, there's this guy standing there with an entire Big Mac meal in front of him, laid out next to each other. He stood there for about 15 minutes, not doing anything, just staring at the food. After which, he bends down and picks up the box of fries and eats some then puts it back on the ground and continues to stare at the food. Now, at first I thought we may have been praying, but no, he wasn't.

Then the other side of the road had 4 blind people with one hand on the shoulder of the guy in front of them trying to cross the road. Talk about the blind leading the blind. It wasn't long before someone helped them though, cos the road was supremely crowded.

My head is going to fall off. Owww.

Please don't buy fur

2005-05-15T16:28:00.000+08:00

Please watch the entire film even if you feel sick. I'm not turning into a hippy and preaching, I'm just saying that you should know what you're buying and how it's made. This is important.

www.strasbourgcurieux.com/fourrure/

I hate being female

2005-05-12T16:06:00.000+08:00

Today I received SEVEN, yes, SEVEN e-mails from females about why guys suck. I am female, and honestly, if you have noticed that guys keep dumping you, maybe there's something wrong with YOU. I'm all for venting issues, but seriously, get a fucking life. For all you feminists out there:

UP YOURS!

4 out of the 7 e-mails I received were from 1 person. I shall not mention names so that I don't receive more e-mails/msgs/smses from her bitching and moaning about things which are irrelevant to my life.

I seriously hate being female. WHY ME?!

Sigh...

Generally speaking, there is nothing wrong with guys using and then dumping you since you're fucking stupid enough to fall for it in the first place. See, stupidity has its consequences! And if you're so against how men behave, stop lusting after them like some bitch after a bone. Let it go.

Now I know I'm not exactly an ideal candidate for giving advice, but seriously. You people really, really, really need to get a life. I do too you say? Yes, well I'm not the one sending out stupid e-mails to people about how dumb or how badly your ex-boyfriend treated you, or how similar he is to a dog or a pig. Pests!

On an absolutely wonderful note, Anthony has been thrown out of American Idol! Woohoohoo! Stupid communist pussy boy who talks about the "American Dream". Why did it take so long to throw him out anyway? Next to go should be Vonzell. It's not that she can't sing, it's just that her voice is too ordinary. And she may be another Missy Elliot in the making. Let's just play it safe. And of course, we all know who's going to win American Idol, Bo Bice! ROCKERS! Muahahahaha!

Yea, you see! All these bastards who keep listening to pop shit are suddenly voting for a rocker! Muahahahahah!

Okay, back to Macbeth!

Choking on your alibi

2005-05-09T18:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder...

The people you live for, the people you depend on to keep you together when you're falling apart...

Will you even be friends in 2 years?

Will you even be acquaintances in 5 years?

Will they even remember your name in 10?

You're going to die alone anyway.

Let me hear you make decisions, without your television

2005-05-08T16:45:00.000+08:00

The following things have been happening:

1) Am short on money (will barter lasagne for books)

2) Am short of one puppy (will pay RM200 to anyone who finds her even though I am a pauper)

3) Am short of space on my bookshelf (will build own if taught how)

4) Am short of time to study for exams (which start tomorrow at 1 p.m.)

5) Am short.

6) Am short of spindals for CDs

7) Am running on a very short fuse lately

So, as you can see, life is short...I am allowed to be corny, my puppy is missing. Fuck off!

Thinking Skills paper 1 tomorrow. 1st 'A' Level paper. How very exciting. I'm not in the least bit worried about the exams for some reason. Not in the I'm-prepared-so-I'm-not-worried sense, but rather in the I-seriously-can't-give-a-flying-fuck-anymore sense. Which is not good, but who cares. It's just exams. Screw that. Waste of my time. And life is short!

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee kicks ass! After reading all the unbelievably subtle underlying meanings, I have figured out why my dumbass of a lit teacher refused to teach it. The first time I read it, it actually left me unsettled. It's just awesome!

GARBAGE!!!!!!!

Anyway, will be in Sg around middle or end of June, but definitely some time in June. Can't wait for the exams to be over! CAN'T FUCKING WAIT! In a month and 2 days I will be bestowed on freedom. Although it isn't going to last very long, it's good enough!!! FREEDOM! Goes George Michael on your ass! Woohooohooo! Yeah, I have no idea what's wrong with me.

I have a feeling my glasses are crooked. I am disturbed by this. Hmmm...to the optician I shall go.

Ah balls. I shall go to bed now. Fuck off!

Love hurts...

2005-05-06T02:35:00.000+08:00

I have had 2 hours of sleep in the past 2 days, I'm tired. Fucking, fucking tired. But I can't sleep.

You know in my last post when I asked why people need to replace things? I got my answer in the most fucking ironic way.

My puppy went missing yesterday morning.

If people in this house weren't so damn irresponsible this would never have happened. It sickens me.

She's only 4 months old. I know I sound sappy and shit, but I really don't care. Losing her is as bad as losing a family member. She's the smartest, cutest dog in the world.

Sigh...fucking miserable.

Yea, I used to be one of those people who laughed when people were so sad about losing their pets too, and believe me, karma is evidently not a joke. It's just unfair as hell.

I just hope she's alright.

Oh well, misery loves company.

I fell in love with you, before the second show

2005-04-28T06:00:00.000+08:00

Just a quick question....

Why do people have the incessant need to replace everything in their lives? For example, if your fish dies, you replace it, if your dog dies you replace it, when you move away from your friends, you replace them, and you are replaced.

Why?

Yes, it's a given that things don't stay the same.

Blah

I'm going to be getting a diploma in psychology! Hahahahaha!

New Review

2005-04-06T19:06:00.000+08:00

http://www.audiostreet.net/artist.aspx?artistid=17763&mode=reviews&recordid=12673

BUY IT NOW!

2005-04-04T02:03:00.000+08:00

Hello children, now sit down and listen carefully.

*swings a pendulum in front of your eyes*

You will go to www.delusiveworkofart.cjb.net and buy the CD. Why? For the following reasons:

1) Because I said so
2) Because the music is actually bloody awesome
3) Because 'Phantasmagoria' has got Fight Club in it
4) Because the CD costs on S$10
5) Because you should support the band

There is no way you won't like the music, so just buy it. Trust me on this one.

If you don't trust me, Google them! Delusive Work of Art

Anyway, check them out

http://music.download.com/delusiveworkofart/3600-8589_32-100577682.html

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/delusiveworkofart.htm

http://www.audiostreet.net/artist.aspx?artistid=17763

http://metal-archives.com/band.php?id=34322

http://www.funender.com/music/bands/4416/

http://delusiveworkofart.metalhordes.com/

http://www.carnageinc.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=249

There's more...but I'm sure you don't need anymore convincing! Buy it NOW!

Deceiver of hearts, deceiver of fools

2005-03-30T15:01:00.000+08:00

Within Temptation - Deceiver of Fools

I'm so happy, I'm so glad...maybe I'm just going mad...

EZboards is the best thing to ever happen to this world. And London After Midnight is the greatest band in the universe. I mean, how can they not be? Sean Brennan actually responded to a question I asked. He responds to all his fan's questions. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but how many people actually bother to do that?!

Trials starting on Friday. Oh well. Can't really be bothered. Exams are just a stupid way of judging whether you're good enough. I'm not saying that because I haven't studied, but rather because it truly is pointless.

I love Sean Brennan. Love.

Drive the knife in deeper to my soul

2005-03-26T22:02:00.000+08:00

London After Midnight - Demon

This song...is pure, PURE evil. There is no other explanation for it.

Evil.

Sean Brennan...evil.

I don't think it's possible for anyone who reads this post to understand what I mean. Why? Because odds are:

1) You haven't heard the song ;
2) You wouldn't care to hear the song

On a totally irrelevant note, MAN MY LENSES ARE DRY! My eyes feel like they've got vacuum cleaners attached to them.

Sean Brennan is God.

It's Liyana's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE ONE! Muahahahahaha!

Sean Brennan. Tsk! What kind of sick bastard writes such brilliant music and lyrics?

I can't even formulate a proper sentence to describe what I mean. It's too much. Someone should strangle him.

It's his voice. That's what it is. His voice. The only word I can think of right now is 'gripping'. It's like a vice. In both senses of the word. This song right, if it's raining, and you're sleepy, and you listen to it, you get lightheaded and stuff. Maybe it's just me, but it's un-fucking-believable.

Sigh. *sob* *sob*

Bittersweet symphony

2005-03-19T02:11:00.000+08:00

My life is taking an all-expenses-paid-no-stops trip downhill. Should be a fun ride. Hop on won't you? Laugh yourself silly, because that's what I'll be doing.

The bottom line is as follows:

1) People will always be smarter
2) People will always do better
3) People will always have more luck

So, what do I do? Give up? Not just yet, but I'm getting there. As long as I can take my books with me I'm fine with it.

By the way, ants have invaded my life. It's like they're all suddenly suicidal and they know I'll crush them if they come anywhere near me, so they're all going like "Hey man, let's go to the ant squisher!"

Isn't drowning in honey the ultimate fantasy for an ant? I bet it's what an overdose would be to a junkie. Man, I miss being an ant!

Blah

2005-03-17T04:02:00.000+08:00

4 a.m.

Some pretty interesting stuff has been taking place...not taking place exactly, but might take place in the near future.

1)Aveena, Priya & me are planning to go backpacking around Australia (Sheep!) & New Zealand (LOTR castles!) in July for around a month. That's still in the PLANNING stages. Still tyring to convince the father to let me go.

2)I finally have the most wonderfully brilliant idea for my book! FINALLY! I would like to publically thank James. I shall not discuss the idea behind the book. Buy it!

3)From July to January I get to live the writer's life! Man this should be fun!

Ah well...I'm excited. Too bloody bad if you're not. I hate school. But it's ok!

The most disgusting thing in the universe is that they sent a letter to my home saying that my attendance for financial accounting is wayyyyyyyyyy below par. Maybe it's because I haven't been going for a month. I despise Ms. Zu. Her classes are damn pointless. This is what happens when you're governed by idiots. I suppose this means I have to start going tomorrow. 2 hours! TWO! I have classes from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. straight. It's bloody madness! That's 5 hours! I know I'm God and all, but don't push it man. Tsk!

Ni!

The world is ending

2005-03-12T19:10:00.000+08:00

It has come to my attention that a very disturbing catastrophe has taken place.

ALL the A&Ws in Malaysia have run out of curly fries. Where will the madness end?

Tiamat - Heaven of High

2005-03-11T04:04:00.000+08:00

A substitute for god, a sacred muse
The hell with it, it's just a lame excuse

Bleaaaahhhh

2005-03-10T01:13:00.000+08:00

The funny thing is, I ended up not waking up for the test on Tuesday. Man I'm a dork. But it's ok. I did on the other hand go for the Courts & Alternatives test. I forgot what "nemo judex in cause sua potest" means....maybe it's because IT'S NOT IN ENGLISH!

Nothing has actually been happening. I paid RM 66 for a book which I will never ever use after June. The things I'm doing for the damn exams. WHY?!

I reorganized my bookshelf again. That's how bored I am. Boredom starts with a B. So does Bhav. Do you see a link there too?

The general consensus on my license picture is that I look seriously pissed off. Could it be that I was? Hmm...let's recount the situation...

1) The woman calls me after several days, WHILE I'M ASLEEP, telling me that I haven't given her a picture for the license. Considering that SHE NEVER BLOODY ASKED, I would think she wouldn't have sounded as stunned as she did.

2) She speaks like a Taiwanese prostitute.

3) She looks like a Taiwanese prostitute.

4) She's charging me RM 500 more just because I took the bloody basic theory in ENGLISH ( which is the language medium in most parts of the world!!!)

5) I get tired easily nowdays, so lugging my ass over to a photo studio just to get a damn picture of myself is not my idea of fun.

6) I get irritated when people ask me stupid questions. The lady asked me "Do you want an instant, or a normal picture?" So I said, "Instant", and then she says, "We don't have instant." Why did she give me a choice?! Why?!

7) People like to walk in my way.

8) The guy who took my picture was an all out Ah Beng! Long hair and nails and everything!

Ah, but who cares? 'L' license. Heaven! Starting practical driving lessons on Wednesday.

Know what else rocks? I have Monk season 2! And The Office! Yay! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Excitement mounting!

Aveena is in England doing her interview for some university. Who would have thought that I would miss her? I have no one to bug!

Oh, oh! FREE MOVIE TICKETS! Nyap nyap! For the 15th of Mar, I'm getting free movie tickets for the movie 'Hitch'. Awesome shit! The general plan is to go for the movie with Sim, but that is all conditional to whether he'll be in town or not.

I want to leave town too. No one is letting me. Bastard exams!

Amsterdam...mmmm

Okay okay! The Office calls! Hahahaha! Yay!

You don't need, to preach, you don't have to love me, all the time

2005-03-08T03:22:00.000+08:00

The Gathering - Saturnine

It's a Tuesday morning. It's 3:23 a.m.

And...

I'M STUDYING! Hahahahahahahahaha

I have not 1, but TWO Law tests today. Bleahhh! Am currently studying Rylands v Fletcher and man is there a shitload of information to comprehend. After which, I've still got Private Nuisance to study. All by 6:30. And I'm blogging! It's bloody madness I tell you!

There is a very high possibility that I am extremely tired at the moment. Extremely. In 3 days I have had about 3 hours of sleep.

Ah well.

So, would anyone like to volunteer their voices to me? I'd like you to sit next to me and read the notes and highlight what I tell you to. Hmmm...maybe I should get a personal assistant...hmmmmmmm...that may actually be a good reason for wanting to be a lawyer...hmmmmm

Well, I suppose I should get back to studying. I suppose so! Perhaps...

Okay, okay. Going! Nyeh!

And like a ghost at night, you come around all dressed in white

2005-03-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

Katatonia - Sweet Nurse is the title.

Yeah, PINK. Hahahahaha

My toes have been having a bad week. The ones on the right foot only though. The big and middle toes are currently in plasters. Someone has something against my toes. Or maybe it's because I keep making fun of Sim's toes. Hmmmm....

April is going to be a rather eventful month. Trials from 1st to 15th to begin with. It's like a long April's Fool prank. Then Harpreet + sister (Balpreet? I think...) might be coming. James might be coming. Interesting.

May 4th to June 10th A's. Freedom will then ensue. I plan to go down to Sg after that to work till around August when my results will be out. That's merely tentative for now. Perhaps around August or September I'll be going to the States to bug the life out of my brother. Will get to meet Irene too! Yay! But she's in Washington. My bro's in Michigan. Cousin is in Jersey. Should be fun. If all goes well, London After Midnight will be performing during my trip over there. Man that would be awesome. Mmmmmmmm...LAM....mmmmmm....

Yeap yeap...that's about all.

I'm currently reading Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. It's worth all the 933 pages of it. Johnny Depp is playing him in the movie which will be released sometime in 2007! Yay!

That's it then. LAM la la la! Sean Brennan....la la la...

AMSTERDAM!

2005-03-04T00:39:00.000+08:00

There is no other basis for this entry except to establish that I wish to move to Amsterdam.

Music

2005-02-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

Today, I wish to write a serious entry about music. Now I'm thinking, should I write about music in general or about a specific band which has officially taken over my mind. Well, perhaps I shall do an LAM special later on. For now, it's music in general. And for the record, I really don't care if you don't like the bands mentioned, it just shows that you should really just kill yourself.

So, where do I start? I suppose I shall do a countdown of the 10 top bands, in 2 parts, from my little book of love:

10) Pink Floyd (UK)
(http://www.pinkfloyd.net)

I am aware that a lot of people are going, "Who?" and it's merely because you probably weren't born when they were around, but if you were and you don't know who they are, you should be ashamed of yourself. 'Korn' has recently covered their most famous single "Another Brick in the Wall". The fame of that single comes not only from their musical expertise, but also from the controversial lyrics which caused it's ban in many countries upon release, including the UK. The anti-education message caused huge ripples in the music industry when it was released in the 70's. 'Pink Floyd''s music was never defined by controversy, but from the powerful end product as a whole. Favourite track: Learning to Fly

9) Radiohead (UK)
(http://www.radiohead.com)

Honestly, need I say more? They're current presence in the industry, as well as the past success says it all. Although their music speaks for itself, let's humour ourselves. They exploded onto the music scene in 1993 with the single "Creep" leaving people begging for more. Since then they've released 6 albums. Roughly 1 every 2 years. There are bands, many in fact, who slacken in their delivery after the first album. In the case of Thom Yorke and company, this is merely a myth. They kept churning out bigger and better albums. Their videos have very odd content in them as well. The coolest video in my opinion is for the song "Just". Favourite track: My Iron Lung

8) The Gathering (Holland)
(http://www.gathering.nl)

The first song I heard by 'The Gathering' was "Shrink", and I fell in love. I really have no clue how to describe the music this band produces. Let me just say this. If you like 'Lacuna Coil', you will love 'The Gathering'. They are made of more or less the same stuff. Although Anneke Van Giersbergen's voice is not the most powerful you'd find, it is more than enough to keep you interested. Favourite track: Saturnine

7) Lacuna Coil (Italy)
(http://www.lacunacoil.it)

Christian Scabbia's voice is the entire basis of this band. She has the ability to invoke emotion in you which is required to enjoy their music. What you hear on their CDs is what you get live, not that I've seen them personally, but I've seen their acoustic videos. Just for the record, and the source for this information is reliable, if you like 'Evanescence', you will love them. Why? Wind-Up Records requested 'Lacuna Coil' to leave Century Media to sign with them, and when refused got 'Evanescence' to fill the role through contractual agreement to mirror the required music. They're that damn good! http://www.inthefaith.com/archives/000183.php
More Christian propaganda! Sad, but 'Lacuna Coil' should be flattered by this annoying form of praise. Favourite track: Falling Again

6) Delusive Work of Art & Choir of Agony (Singapore)
(http://www.delusiveworkofart.cjb.net/)

These bands are not here due to any bias on my part. Although they're put under 1 heading, they should be accredited seperately. 'Choir of Agony' is a side project by one of the members of 'Delusive Work of Art'. Anyway, this band, although sprung from Singapore, has no roots in the musical scene there. Their music cannot be classified into one particular genre as they have ensured diversity in their musical endeavours. Although their debut album is still in the pipelines, they have been met with much success during market testing. Their release will certainly see a fresh wave sweeping the music industry off it's feet. Favourite track: Phantasmagoria

Tune in tomorrow for the 2nd half.

I can't die dead enough

2005-02-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

Title is from Megadeth - Die Dead Enough

Yeap, I'm still alive. Still bored out of my fucking mind. Still here...stuck.

Another evening perfect for bitching and moaning incessantly about my less than perfect life. I have found my altar of sanity. Music. I have never loved music more than I do at this point, and I shall put in another entry in just a bit with my views on it.

Otherwise, there is nothing particularly interesting happening here. New books. Happy. Nothing else. Exams are coming. I've decided that I seriously don't care enough to bother spending the next 3 mths with my face stuck in my books. It's a waste of my time. All this crap...all this so called 'education', all this superficial well-wishing of each other while internally you're cursing at everyone else. It's bullshit.

I'm so so tired of crap. Yes, I keep saying I've reached the edge, just that this time I'm lost in it. There is no more "I care about..." because there's nothing left to finish that sentence with.

I don't care about family who try to mould me into their ideal marriageable daughter, I don't care about my friends who never come through, I don't care about my education which is going to be pointless when I shed this skin of existence, I don't care about writing to be number 2, just missing number 1 by the mindset of general stupidity. Most of all, I don't care about life. I'm wasting this fucking existence rotting into an epitome of self-destructive retarding being.

Everything any of you will ever say will now fall upon deaf ears. I have no interest in the institution of friendship you'll attempt to engage me in to fulfill your own personal agendas.

My thoughts are always with you. These thoughts of pulling your beautiful limbs apart slowly to make you feel the amount of pain you have inflicted on me. These thoughts of taking my time as the artist to disfigure you in a way which has you waking up in a cold sweat screaming every night, hoping the nightmare is just that. No, what do you know? There's always another layer. Your subconscious picks up on another level. Every nightmare you ever had that leaves you frightened, I can become. Stay the fuck away from me.

3 weeks

2005-02-11T08:11:00.000+08:00

Roughly la

3 weeks to license.

Roughly

Tis 8.11 in the a.m.! Haven't slept. 8 a.m.!

Just for the record, even with the best company in the universe fishing is the most boring thing on the planet.

Just for another record, I am officially obsessed with Nightwish. This is not good. The song 'Dead Boy's Poem' has taken over my life. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Been a week of hols. School starts on Monday. Education has not been exploited. I am so screwed.

If anyone is interested in buying me a digital camera, you're welcome to do so.

The parental unit is going to Singapore today. ALONE! Hehe... odds are I'm going to be unconscious all day anyway, so it's not really a big deal.

Am currently reading Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk...I love him

Am going to scavenge for breakfast. Shall chitty chatty laterly!

SPLEAHHHH

2005-01-31T22:55:00.000+08:00

There is no other word to describe how I feel today.

It's just one of those off days. I'm unbelievably tired, but I can't fall asleep. I'm becoming demented and senile, but I just won't fucking die.

I am also excessively bored. It's actually brimming over.

I want money. Pay homage with immediate effect!

Due to this stupid over-expectant gesture of mine, I put all my money into my debit card, which I won't be receiving for the next week or two. Which means that until then I truly am a pauper. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Nyeh!

Black Magic Woman

2005-01-25T23:13:00.000+08:00

Tuesday night. Bored out of my less than sane mind.

Got my Law results on Saturday. 'C'. Expected. Not particularly pleased, but expected nonetheless. I'm retaking it in May.

Sim isn't going for his backpacking thingy. My plans for Namibia is more than definately going down the drain slowly but surely. I'm back to square number one. Aimless after the A's.

Why the hell do our lives revolve around exams? It's so pointless. How boring.

I wanted to write about music today, but I'm too tired to think through the sentences which I write.

Tomorrow I've got my basic theory. Odds are that I'm going to fail. Pshhh

Nietzsche - Ecce Homo <--- His autobiography of sorts. He deserves more credit than he gets.

Am skipping school to go for my basic theory tomorrow. Who cares? It's only bloody Literature. Not like I'm going to learn anything.

The coffee I'm drinking is revolting. It's the red Nescafe tinned coffee. It tastes like vomit.

I shall be in Bangkok from Tuesday 'till Saturday next week for the weddings of two of my cousins. They're actually my nieces, but since they're older than me, I shall just stick to referring to them as my cousins. It should be pretty fun I suppose. Bandhna will be there. Yippee ya ya. Haha nvm nvm.

Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov is an excellent book. Nabokov also wrote 'Lolita' by the way.

There is really nothing interesting going on. I have no idea why I persist in writing. Boredom perhaps.

Am removing myself from thy presence to go write snail mail. I really, really haven't got a life. REALLY.

I'm in trouble for the things I haven't got to yet

2005-01-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

MEGADETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, it's only Monday, but I can see that the week is going to be highly eventful. Let's start off with yesterday, because Sunday is in fact the beginning of the week.

Yesterday I began the process (about BLOODY time) of getting my license. The first step is to go for a FIVE hour lecture on it. Yes, FIVE FUCKING HOURS! So seeing that I signed up for the english process, you would assume the talk would actually BE in ENGLISH! But noooooooooooooooooooooo, it was in MALAY! And I had to sit through it! At least the basic theory is going to be in English. That's for sure. Blah!

Then today I got some brilliant news. I shall mention it later.

On Wednesday there's no Litt cos we're going to Court for Law Society! Yay!!! The disgusting part is that I have to be in school by 8:30. And it is a bloody boring commercial case. And it's also in Malay! But it's cool cos we've got to dress all lawyer-ly and stuff. Which means that I get to wear the trench coat that Bandhna bought for me. It's not the Matrix kind of trench coat! It's a half trench coat thingy. But it's great! Yay!

Then on Friday there's no school. Nyap nyap nyap.

And Saturday, well, it's bad news I suppose. As Law results are out. It's very disturbing.

But, on the bright side, I found out today that Monday and Tuesday we've got holidays as well! Muahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaa! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

That is a total of 5 days of being school-less! Except for the bit where I've got to go to school to collect my damn results. Oh well, who cares. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do badly and that I'm going to have to resit the papers in May, but it's all good. It's not MY fault I did the wrong question. I'm never wrong.

I'm sleepy as usual. Which is not normal.

Choke - Chuck Palahniuk. Fucking awesome!

Gupz left for the States on Saturday. I'm officially out one brother. Sim's leaving on Friday. Then I'll be the only child. I don't like the thought of that one bit. Blah

By the way, Bob & George, addictive as hell! Sean is evil. And his leg is broken. He thinks he's a stuntman. Hahahahaha!

Everyone should listen to Snow Patrol. They're such an awesome band. Okay, am off to read B&G.

Creative Zen Touch

2005-01-14T20:40:00.000+08:00

Model: Creative Zen Touch

Space: 20 GB

Price: S$410 (same as the iPod Mini)

Size: Fits in the palm of your hand, unless you're a dwarf

Design: Gorgeous

Colour: White & Silver

User-friendliness: It's my best friend

Sound Quality: Crystal

Volume: 'Hallowed Be Thy Name' by Cradle of Filth can be heard 2 tables away in a crowded cafeteria.

Shock Absorbtion: I have no idea, and do not intend to find out

Battery Life: 24 hours (subject to how much you press forward, rewind and on/off)

Ear Phones: White. Pretty. Long enough to put the thing in your bag and listen to it

Searching for Songs: The ability to run your finger over the thing to search for a song is excellent

Playlists: I haven't tried this out yet

Ability to be Used as a Torch Light: Not viable

Weight: It's heavier than it looks, but not that much more than a discman

Carrying Case: Very stylo black pouch like thingy that will ensure it doesn't get scratched, and which can be clipped to anything you wish to clip it to

Sexiness: I cannot explain exactly how it's possible, but this was love at first sight

Overall Comment: Balls to iPod! 1 ball, 2 balls, 3 balls, up yours!

Generally, this is something that everyone should own. If you're planning to buy an iPod, don't. Please don't support Apple's shitty products. iMac, iBook and iPod, all shit. If you don't believe me, reviews have also stated that the Zen is the best product on the market. The new 5 GB Zen is out. It's black in colour and much cheaper than the iPod mini. At least something good has come out of Singapore.

Nyap nyap

2005-01-14T20:26:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyahahahahahahhaahhaha

Finally!

FREEDOM!

(not including PTM tomorrow which I am relatively sure my parents have forgotten about, which is exceptionally good news)

Tomorrow, I am going to be 1 step closer to being brother-less for a few months. Gupz (eldest sibling) is going back to Michigan to continue studying (or something to that effect). Next Friday, Sim (2nd sibling) is going on his little backpacking trip for 3 months. So until around April I'm going to be more or less the only child my parents have who's still living at home. I have no idea as yet whether that is good or bad news.

There's a new guitar out. The Zakk Wylde Les Paul. Gorgeous. Expensive. Next year.

There's nothing to do. Got hold of 'Finding Neverland' (Johnny Depp!!!) day before, and 'The Sicilian' (written by Mario Puzo!). I'm dying to watch them, but then if I do, I'll be back to having nothing to watch. So I'm going to wait.

Next month 2 of my cousins are getting married. I shall be in Bangkok from the 2nd to the 5th I think.

Courtesy of Sean, entertainment has come my way. You should entertain yourself too. www.bobandgeorge.com .

And courtesy of Sim: www.engrish.com .

I have a feeling that I should be studying considering that my exams are 4 months off. 3 months if you think the trials are important.

In a few weeks, I am going to get very freaked out about it.

Tomorrow there's this little tea party gathering thingy for my cousin and his fiancee. Such an Indian way of doing things. Chai madam? Chai? Bleugh.

I am determined to study at least a little bit tonight.

Haha. Determination. I don't have any.

Okay, I would like to review the Creative Zen Touch. I shall write a new post just for it because it is the love of my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOCHANI!

2005-01-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Meena, Meena, Meena. I haven't known you for even a year, ALAS! Okay okay I shall stop speaking in such a reminescent manner since you're still my friend for the time being. Well, you're my walking live embodiment of Stitch, someone who's been a terrific friend so far. I'd just like to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and send you my blessings, as I am God. Things will work out well for you. Don't worry too much about it. But only as long as you bear in mind that I am the Don, and my part time job is being God to my minions.

Snow Patrol - How to be Dead

2005-01-13T22:38:00.000+08:00

I would like to state for the record that I am not pleased. This morning Chelsea and Utd drew. Chelsea should have lost. Bastards. They've got too much luck on their side. Within the 1st 15 minutes, the motherfucking referee denied Utd 2, yes two, TWO!, very obvious penalties. VERY OBVIOUS! Bastard kayu ref!

Utd's strikeforce is screwed up. Saha cannot finish to save his piece of shit life. Rooney kept missing and Ronaldo as usual was playing like a little girl. At least the linesman was doing his job!

Bleugh!

Took an off day from school to mourn Utd's unfair draw. My laptop still isn't working. Formatted it yesterday, but for some reason Office refuses to install. So does the bloody wireless card. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Tomorrow is finally Friday. The thought of going to school is making me nauseated. But it's a very slack day. fThinking Skills in the morning, followed by 2 hours of break and then 2 hours of Law.

Thinking Skills teacher has finally been replaced! Ms. Sharon was in hospital for over a month last year for severe morning sickness or some shit like that. How weak must you be to be bedridden for morning sickness? And she finally left the school and Ms. Sathiya has taken over. About bloody time! Interviews are in place for a replacement for Ms. Azizah, who coincidentally is also pregnant. It's like they plan this. It's pregnancy galore in school right now.

The version of Macbeth (that Scottish play, aye) that we're watching sucks to a miserably large extent. You cannot find uglier actors if you tried.

Meena's birthday tomorrow. The kind soul known as Regine will be buying the present since I am irresponsible and didn't do so.

There is a vague possibility that I might be sleepy.

Some very weird shit has been going on over the past couple of years. People seem to be getting married a lot. It's odd. Everyone's suddenly getting married, or engaged or being yelled at to do one of the two. Most of the people I know are well past the 21 mark, all of whom are considered adults all of a sudden.

But have we all really changed? I don't know about that. Maybe we have.

On Tuesday I got an e-mail from an ex-classmate. We shall call him Lawrence, because that is in fact his name. Even from his e-mail you can tell he's different as hell. When we were in secondary school, he was the quietest person in class. I don't think anyone knows what he sounds like. He claims he speaks more now. He's planning a class get together kind of thing. It should be interesting.

In sec 3 & 4 I actually enjoyed school. Who would have thought? Who your classmates are make a lot of difference. Our entire class was really really close and the people there were amazing. Even though I'm only in touch with a few of them and haven't seen most in a really long time, it's still a time that had a charm of its own.

I started writing, but I've realized that there's too much information there and that I don't have the time to go into it today. I shall run away now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAV & PRAB!!!

2005-01-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hey, it's birthday time again. YOU PEOPLE ARE OLD!!!

Okay, okay. Here it is.

Prabie: Hello bitch! I've known you for a superbly long time. Since we were little kids. You're my cousin/friend/lesbian life partner. If only we'd gotten closer earlier. We hated each other in primary school. Heaven knows why. Then Sec 1 came along and suddenly we were best friends. Who knows what brought about the sudden change? It's funny though. I know we're not as close as we used to be, but those few years were amazing. You're a terrific friend to have and it's a pity that we've grown apart for much. But I suppose we've got our whole lives to make up for it. A lot's happened I suppose, and you've made it to the 20 mark before me. Hope everything you ever dream for is granted and that things work out well. You'd better keep in touch!

Lavving: AUNTY!!! Hey man, it's been only 3yrs +++. 4 this year. You're 21. Officially an adult, but you still look like a 14 year old! You're by far the smallest person I know. Physically of course. Well, what is there to say? We've been through a lot together, and it's been pulled through. I just never want to lose you as a friend, because you mean an entire universe and a half to me. Things have been difficult, I hope they improve in time. If you ever need me, your niece will be there for you. And please don't forget out pact to set Sarwes on fire and see how long he takes to burn. It's been a ball, all these years. Who would have thought man? Who? From being "enemies" of sorts, to becoming one of my friends. Hopefully, distance doesn't kill our friendship. Hope all's well and that good things come about for you. And please Lav, don't turn into a CROW! Muahahahahahaha!

My love letter to nobody...

2005-01-11T17:29:00.000+08:00

NIGHTWISH BITCH!!!!

Yes, Nightwish. Dead Boy's Poem. Title. Love them. You will love them too.

I know, it's been a while. Been busy or something to that effect. School started last Tuesday. Sadistic. I hate school. Bores the living crap out of me.

Today is Tuesday.

My new timetable is excellent. Well, for Wednesdays at least. I've only got 2 hours of Litt from 2-4. Which means that technically there's no school when I don't feel like going. BEAT THAT! Nyap nyap nyap.

Recently there have been comments suggesting that I may have lost my mind, well, deal with it.

Nothing particularly interesting is going on in my life, so I shall make stuff up.

But first, 'A' Levels in May/June. 4 months. Evil. Well, it's not the end of the world. It's 2005. I'm 20 this year. It's taken me a bloody long-assed time to get through my A's on account of moving. Oh well.

Oh, I forgot, there are birthdays I haven't wished people for.

21/12/04 - Manlina - Happy birthday (short and sweet cos she probably won't see
this)
- Gavin - Happy birthday (who probably also won't see this on account that
I have not spoken to him in around 3 years)

30/12/04 - Hanita - Happy brithday Hans who is now officially old. 19. Muahahaha.
Well, you got your gift, hope you enjoyed it. Glad we got to meet
up while I was down and I hope you have a wonderful year ahead
. I didn't even realize I missed you as much as I did until we met
up. Hahahahahaha! Hopefully our days of childish arguments are
over!

2/1/05 - Harpreet - Preetololo, Pig Eon, Pbrrr or whatever other nick you go by,
birthday woman. Your card is revoltingly late, but in the process
of being lifted off my table and put into a letter box. Miss you like
hell man. Hope work treats you well. Be good. The card will come,
along with the photos. No worries. And you better come and visit!

7/1/05 - Irene - Arifin! You're now 21! OLD!!! Nyap nyap nyap. Well, Irene, it's been
a disgustingly long time. There is nothing left to say that will sum up
everything so I'll just stick to telling you that I love you like hell
woman! And I shall start writing deligently!

Okay, if I'm not wrong that should be about all. Friday is Meena's birthday. Pshh.

NIGHTWISH!!!

What a bloody boring day. There's PTM (parent-teacher meeting) on Saturday. Bleugh. Pain in the ass. They're just doing it on purpose so that I get grounded. So far this year I haven't skipped a single class. Not entirely true in relation to today, but still. I've been good. I pay attention during Costing. This is more for my teachers than anyone else.

Does any subject get as boring as cost accounting? I mean, seriously. No matter how hard I try to pay attention, my mind seems to wonder off to greener pastures, such as doing nothing at home.

In the past few weeks, I have watched various movies:

Meet the Fockers (twice)
Ocean's 12 (will be watching it again, quite sure of that)
Kung Fu Hustle
Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason (it sucks. The first was alright)
The Phantom of the Opera (which Sim is still holding against me for dragging him
along)

Let me speak to you about The Phantom of the Opera. No one tell Sim that I said this, but it was the most insanely boring movie I have ever seen. The play was pretty good, so who would have thought the movie could drive you to tears of boredom? If it weren't my idea to go for it, and I didn't have any pride, I probably would have walked out of the theatre after 1/2 an hour. At last count, 8, yes, EIGHT people walked out of the theatre. Stupid movie. Waste of money, waste of time. Death of soul. This movie, I'm sure of it, is used as the highest form of torture in the deepest pits of hell.

Just for the record, Nightwish's version of Phantom of the Opera is bloody awesome.

Liyana is moving to the Netherlands next month. Lucky woman! For some reason, she doesn't want to go. Insanity.

Tomorrow morning, United are playing Chelsea. I would like to state for the record that if Man Utd lose, I will officially stop watching soccer.

Does anyone know when Charlie & the Chocolate Factory is coming out? *drool* Johnny Depp *drool*

Tomorrow are Lav's and Prabbie's birthdays.

Movies I would sell my dismembered body parts to watch:

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
Star Wars
Indiana Jones
Da Vinci Code (2006)
Madagascar

Seeing as I have been watching an excessive number of movies within a 2 week period, which evidently indicates that I don't really do any work, the ads I have seen for upcoming movies are disturbing.

Every bloody movie coming out anytime soon is a stupid horror movie that isn't even scary! It's ridiculous. There's 'Constantine' (bastard Keanu Reeves!), 'Doll Master(s?)' and so on so forth. It's stupid. These movies are not even scary. Why do they persist in producing them? What's so difficult about killing a doll? These are various methods you may use if a doll you own comes to life:

1) Set it on fire
For this method, you will require
a) lighter fluid
b) matches / lighter
It's simple. Pour fluid, light lighter, watch doll run around melting.

2) Axe it to death
What you need
a) axe
All you need to do is drop the axe.

This method is also highly effective for family members who you dislike. When
using on family, it is preferable to make sounds such as "oops" or "oh my god, are
you okay?" after dropping.

3) Step on it
What you need
a) feet

Unless you're one of these freaks who buys those stupid life-sized dolls, this
method works out well. If you have a life-sized doll, run. (also requires use of
feet)

Law is great. Contract law is easy peasy. Do not mistake this for a statement which says that I am going to get 'a' for law. Because odds are, I'm not. 'As' results coming out around the 26th of this month. My prediction is either a 'C' or a 'D' based on the fact that I did the wrong bloody question for Paper 2. Trust me and Meena to do shit like this. It's not my bloody fault. The 1st question was talking about finding treasure and the Treasure Acts bla bla bla...The 2nd question was about drug pushers. How the hell do you link treasure to statutory interpretation. It's not my fault. Nothing is. I'm always right. And how was I supposed to know that the 2nd question was based on a topic I hadn't studied? When going for an exam, you're supposed to have been taught everything. Oh well. We shall see.

I'm growing old. 20 this year. Blah. No longer a teenager. Next year I'll be 21. After the excitement of turning 21 dies down, you start worrying about growing old. So there's a happy/not happy mixed emotion thingy going on. I'm supposed to start being responsible for my actions. Bleugh!

My god it's hot today. It's like a furnace.

Vik has informed me that nobody except Sean and me know what Duff is. Why? What do you people watch??? STOP WATCHING SHIT LIKE ALLY MCBEAL!

I'm so sad that 'Friends' has ended. Now there's nothing to watch. But 'Joey' has started. And Adrianna from 'Sopranos' is acting in it! Yay!

Alrighty, I shall run away now.

Btw, read the book 'Reading Lolita in Tehran' by Azar Nafisi. Unbelievably excellent!

Understated tragedy, in a lifetime of blasphemy

2004-12-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

I am in Singapore. Heaven knows what I'm still doing here. Got here on Sunday night. Called everyone and made plans and went to bed. How very uneventful.

Yesterday was a good day till around the ending. While waiting for Harpreet and Hanita at Orchard MRT, I bumped into Fiza and Suzie. Made a little unnecessary small talk with them, and then they went off. Then I bumped into Bindiya and a whole group of people who look like her. It was funny. Then she went away. And a while later Harpreet turned up. Just for the record, I was the only person who was early!!! Then Hanita turned up and we went around town. I spent an excessively exorbitant amount of money. It's ridiculous!!! I don't even know what I bought. Let me recap. MRT...Kinokuniya. Okay! We went to look at tarot cards there. Didn't buy anything. Then went off to HMV and bought the Syawla Evol CD. It's pretty good. All of you should go buy a copy. Even thought the cover is a little dodgy! Then, we went to City Hall to meet Bandhna (my bimbotic sister, who I love immensely because she bought me a trench coat for my birthday!). Then we met Shivali and Ambika. We went to Spellbound in Peninsula. The place smells great cos of all the oils they have. Interesting. For the record, they sell Satanic Bibles there. Then we went to eat at Pastamania.

Today was alright I guess. Got scolding from my grandmother for not eating vegetables. I shall not go into that. Then I escaped and went to Manlina's place to say hi. Then I met Harpreet (Smirfoff) in City Hall and we went to Kinokuniya and bought tarot cards. The artwork on the cards are gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. *drool* If only I could draw that way!!!! How sad. After which we went down to Plaza Singapura because we were both really tired for some reason. So we sat there and did nothing till Vik came. And then he went off to go be gay with Naresh or something to that effect. Then he came back again. Sean came a bit later. The 3 of them molested my tarot cards and channelled all THEIR energy into it. But it's ok. I forgive them. Not too long after that, they went off. Then Preeto had to leave too, after which Sarwes and Updesh came. Then Aisyah and Brandon came. Aisyah, who now works as a florist bought me this bouquet of PINK roses! Yes, PINK!!!! I know!!! But they were very pretty and they smelt really nice, and they're next to me now. And I was very touched by the gesture, and I love you Tan! So yeah, that's about it I guess. I left very soon after meeting them.

The past couple of days have been interesting I guess. You go away and you have idealistic memories of people and places, and it's all crap. Some poeple have changed so much, and it's so sad. People I thought I'd be friends with my whole life. The few of them who bothered made my trip here worth it. Namely Harpreet, Bandhna, and Hanita. I thought coming back here would be a good idea, but it wasn't. The people who mattered to me so much have become so different. Some of whom I was so close to previously, that I trusted them with my life. They're now people who I can't hold even a simple conversation with. It's odd, but I guess it happens. It's just pretty damn sad.

Spending the past 2 days with everyone has been a unique experience. Most of them didn't bother even turning up, which says a lot. Harpreet's been there all the way, and it's appreciated cos she bothered to take the time out to spend it with me. And I never realized that I actually missed her as much as I did. I'm so tired of meeting people just to keep face. And I don't intend to do it anymore. I guess it's fair to say that I doubt I'll be coming back to Sg for a pretty long time now. It's not worth making the trip because it's obvious it isn't worth it. This place makes me so uncomfortable. It's no longer home and I hate it here. I really do. Screw it all.

I'm going back tomorrow. Woohoohoo!!! And I've got a video of the past couple of days as memories. Everyone should buy a video camera. It's unbelievably funny to look back at all the crap we do. Oh well, I suppose that sums up my trip to Sg. The crappiness was worth it for the few of them who were worth meeting. Oh well.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AISYAH!

2004-11-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

TAN!!!! Happy birthday man! I miss you so so so so so so so much! It's no fun to go to school if I can't sit next to you in class and talk nonsense! I miss you a whole lot! Come and visit me ok? You're 19 now, but i got here first! Love you loads!!!!

My I.E. hasn't been working, so here's the backlog of birthday wishes.

2004-11-23T19:24:00.000+08:00

17/11 - Sean

Sean here has got serious issues. He finds innuendos in any comment made. Disturbing, but true. Well, happy 20th man!

20/11 - Sarwes

Wes, it's been so damn long since I've heard from you. What's going on? Happy 20th as well.

22/11 - Joanne

Jo, hope all's well, happy birthday!

Happy Birthday Aryana...

2004-11-06T04:54:00.000+08:00

Hey Ana...this is the first year in a long time when I haven't received a call saying "Happy Birthday, quick! call me back and wish me as well!" And I miss you so so much. And I'm broken because of it. And I can't talk to you. And I have no idea how to deal with this. Good god woman, why would you do it? Well, I just want you to know that I still love you like hell. No one can take your place. You left too many broken hearts behind and I know it's your idea of something funny, but it isn't. Not to me.

What do you want me to be? You treat me like a disease!

2004-10-21T05:01:00.000+08:00

Title is Like a Disease by Lollipop Lust Kill

It is 4:50 in the morning (still dunno what am means) let me check the dictionary NOW so that I can put my mind at ease!

AM : ante meridiem (before noon)

Well why can't they just bloody say that?!

PM : postmortem (after noon)

Hmm...okay.

And by the way,

Pudding: dessert

What a stupid dictionary. No shit! Thank you for enlightening me!

Well, it is 4:53 anter meridiem and I am on sleeping pills and I have not slept because they don't make me sleep. Damned defective pills!

Thursday. I'm getting a debit card today! *ecstatic* Internet purchases! Muahahahaha!

And I finally have enough money to buy the guitar! FINALLY! But naturally, my parents are petitioning against it. OH THE HUMANITY!

Screw ipod! Hail Creative Zen! 40gb of songs and longer battery life for the same price as the iPod Mini! How dumb! And the Zen is better because unlike the ipod, it does not get spoilt after 8 mths, making you buy a new one! Damned marketing gimicks!

I want my phone back. I'm using Nokia again. Eeeeeeee!

Did I mention that my fish died? Did I even mention that I bought a fish? It died even before I mentioned I had a fish. How sad is that? Haha maybe I did mention it. Who knows.

It's been an emotional night. Thanks to SOME people who hung themselves. But it's okay.

*Yawn* FINALLY!!!

Yay! I'm going to bed!!!! Sweet dreams!

And kids, remember, don't do drugs!

Hello me! Meet the real me! In my misfit's way of life!

2004-10-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

Song is Sweating Bullets - Megadeth

Megadeth sucks beyond belief right now. What is happening to all the bands of old? Metallica and Megadeth sold out to the teenie boppers who listen to shit nowdays. It's sad. Oh so sad!

Metallica's album 'St. Anger' deserves to be revoked from release. Megadeth. Sigh.

All of you should listen to 'Peace Sells But Who's Buying' by Megadeth. Great song.

Anyway, I'm bored. It is now Wednesday, an hour to Thursday. I'm back to school on Monday. Strangely, I'm not dreading it. Staying at home for 2 weeks is not as fun as I thought it would be.

BORED!

There are some people who need to be slapped. Really.

Anyway, update on my Lit teacher's unbelievable intelligence.

In Macbeth there is the line "Mark, king of Scotland..." she said "Mark is the king of Scotland". Meena felt it necessary to inform me of this. Not very helpful in motivating me to come to school.

As far as I am concerned, for the past 2 weeks, I have had chicken pox. Oh well.

Help! Bored!

So Halloween is coming and some people are getting weirdly excited about it. Why? It's just another festival to help Toys 'r' Us raise unnecessary funds. And if anyone knows where to buy black lipstick, YES BLACK, please let me know because SOMEONE has been calling me for the past 1 week asking me. The fact that I say 'I don't know' every single time does not deter her. So someone please come to the rescue of my ear.

Back to worrying about school. AS Law paper on the 18th & 19th of November. That is how many days away? Today is the 20th of October. Ouch. I felt that. 29 days. But since my notes are with Keshor, I can only start studying on Monday (nope, not an excuse). That would thin it down to say 24 days. Oh man. I have to study. How boring.

Oh well...

Halloween is on a Sunday this year. Next Sunday to be precise. For those of you going out, the witch or werewolf tapping you on the shoulder may not be dressed up. Muahahahaha. Check for feet.

How many weeks is 24 days? 3? Shit. That is a lot of time man! Why is everyone so panicky! Stupid people.

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The thought of waking up at an unearthly hour, before even the sun rises, is traumatizing me. But it's okay. 6th of December school ends. SHIT! I have other exams end of November! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It's like they do it on purpose!

But it's okay. I shall go back after that. Nic told me that Kinokuniya sells Oujia Boards! I thought they were banned in Singapore? Tsk!

Well, I shall go away now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIC!

2004-10-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

Nicholas Lim is a paedophile. You are now 17. Be careful! Muahahaha. Okay okay, I'm just joking. Have a great birthday man! Hope all's well. You are a mad person, but I forgive u! Hahaha!

How fatal then, is all of your hate?

2004-10-18T01:36:00.000+08:00

Best Friend Money Can Buy - Tiamat

My fish is dead. I'm like the damn Grim Reaper. Everything and everyone I come into contact with dies. It's stupid. Grrrr...frustration mounting.

You know what? I give up. Seriously. I'm just so tired of fighting. All of you win. I'm going to become one of the crowd. Just do what the hell society expects of me and be a normal person. There's so much I need to change. So much. I just can't do it anymore.

I'm probably going to go back to school. Those are the consensus at the moment. I just don't know when. Mid-week perhaps? Perhaps.

When is all this going to go away? I wish it would just go away.

So tired of packaging the anger, always, pushing you away

2004-10-15T21:12:00.000+08:00

Wonderful by Adam Ant. It's been a while.

Today is Friday. I haven't gone to school the entire week, barring Monday. Check this out. Not a single person called to ask if I'm okay. Which leads me to believe that if I kill myself, no one will even notice. Sweet. Maybe I should give it a shot.

Screw everyone. So much for having any friends in school. So much for having ANY form of friendship left.

I'm very tired.

The only person left who cared is dead. God bless the rest of you.

Mary Bell is great. In England, below the age of 10, you can't be convicted of any crime. If only I had known back then.

I hate everyone right now. I don't know why. People are so damn fake.

I'm whining. What the hell is wrong with me?!

The Devil Made Me Do It...

2004-10-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

Title is a song by Murderdolls.

The past couple of days have been an emotional avalanche. I'm beginning to seriously wonder what the hell in wrong with me. If I don't know, who does?

I'm seriously contemplating dropping out of school. It just doesn't seem to matter anymore. Nothing does. Sigh. What the hell is going on? My head constantly feels like it's going to explode. Too much shit.

There are too many reasons for me to hate school. It is absolutely no challenge whatsoever. That makes it boring. Makes me not care. And who's there? No one. People who don't know anything about me. It's just so hard to walk around pretending that I'm fine. I'm not.

Nothing is fine...

Death is an unrequited love...

Here is an awesome poem for those of you who are materialistic. Learn something from it!

"Oh, where have you been, my long, long love,

this seven years and more?"

"Oh, I've come to seek my former vows

Ye granted me before."

"Oh, do not speak of your former vows,

For they will breed sad strife;

Oh, do not speak of your former vows,

For I have become a wife."

He turned him right and round about,

And the tear blinded his ee:

"I would never have trodden on this ground

If it had not been for thee."

"If I was to leave my husband dear,

And my two babes also,

Oh, what have you to take me to,

If with you I should go?"

"I have seven ships upon the sea--

The eighth brought me to land--

With four-and-twenty bold mariners,

And music on every hand."

She has taken up her two little babes,

Kissed them on cheek and chin:

"Oh, fare ye well, my own two babes,

For I'll never see you again."

She set her foot upon the ship--

No mariners could she behold;

But the sails were of the teffeta,

And the masts of the beaten gold.

She had not sailed a league, a league,

A league but barely three,

When dismal grew his countenance,

And drumlie grew his ee.

They had not sailed a league, a league,

A league but barely three,

Until she espied his cloven foot,

And she wept right bitterly.

"Oh, hold your tongue of your weeping." said he,

"Of your weeping now let me be;

I will show you how the lilies grow

On the banks of Italy."

"Oh, what hills are yon, yon pleasant hills,

That the sun shines sweetly on?"

"Oh, yon are the hills of heaven," he said,

"Where you will never win."

"Oh, whaten a mountain is yon," she said,

"So dreary with frost and snow?"

"Oh, yon is the mountain of hell," he cried,

"Where you and I will go."

He struck the top-mast with his hand,

The fore-mast with his knee;

And he broke that gallant ship in twain,

And sank her in the sea.

-Anonymous

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANJACK!

2004-10-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

Muahahahaha! Jothi Kumar! Happy happy birthday man! It's time you grew out of your anjack phase! Please! No more tiger skinned stuff! Well man, I have known you for a long long time. You are a terrific person to talk to, especially when it involves cars! Well, cheers man! Hope the year only gets better for you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAUN, SHAMALA & AMAL!!!

2004-10-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

Too many people have birthdays today!

SHAUN: You Pinky! Have been a terrific brother-like figure to have lurking around! But I hate you for being tall and everything. But since it's your birthday, I forgive you! Anyway man, you're 20 now! GROW UP! Haha kidding kidding. Well, I'd just like to say thanks a lot for always being around. You're a great friend to have! Be good!

SHAMALA: You are Pinky no. 2! The girl who went into nursing so that she could wear a PINK uniform! Insanity, but the truth! Well Sham, it has been a while since I have met up with you! You will meet me when I come down! You were a fun classmate to have while it lasted and you abandoned me for POLY! Damn you! But Sham, minus the bimboticness, you're a great person! I still remember all those repetitions of my name, "Bhav, talk to me, Bhav!" hahahaha! Love you Pink girl!

AMAL: Haven't known you for tt long. You're a really nice person!

I'm Dying

2004-10-06T15:36:00.001+08:00

I seriously think that I might be. My nose has been bleeding for the past 1 week. So if I don't come to school tomorrow, you'll know what happened. Muahahahaha. I can practically hear some people going, "Don't talk like that" But what's up with the nose bleeds man. It's gross!

I have to study today. I haven't even started. I did a bit of Litt last night, but that was to escape the fact that I have a shitload of Costing still due. Ms. Zu is on course this week so I've got no F.A. tomorrow. Yay! Stupid font that keeps changing! Damn you! Okay, nevermind. So tomorrow I have Law in the morning, 1 period free and then 1 costing. And that will be until 11. After which, I have Thinking Skills at 2. WHICH IS 3 BLOODY HOURS! Now think to yourself, do I really want to wait around school for 3 hours and wait for Ms. Sharon's class? I really don't think so. But on the bright side, the company is pretty good. So perhaps...perhaps...I will go for Thinking Skills tomorrow.

It is Wednesday today. People who I don't like are infesting my home again. The 'why' part escapes me. I hate all of them! ALL OF YOU, YOU HEAR!!!!!!!

Ektaa has an ipod. I rest my case. Sigh

Maybe that's why I have nose bleeds. My brain is trying to tell me that I should get one too. Yes, that has to be it!

But Brain! Listen! Soulmate guitar first, and THEN ipod! So wait!!! Impatience never gets you anywhere! You know that!!! And after I love it so much from a far, and then I get it, I usually lose interest. It's quite annoying. Except my video cam! I love it so much that I'm scared to use it. And plus, I don't know on what!!! Damn! Where's a video camera when you need one? Should have had one at my birthday last year!!!

The 3 mths has been reduced to 6 weeks. No one needs to know what I'm talking about. Which means that 1 week and 5 days has gone by. So it's now 4 weeks and 2 days. Not bad. Just over a month. So technically the day will come on November the 8th. Hmmm...great.

Damn this font!

Theatre of Tragedy is great. Seriously. Everyone should listen to them! EVERYONE!!! Muahahahahahhaa!

Okay, now I have a headache and I need to go study! Yes, study!!! Sigh. Depressing.

I hope the KKK gets hold of her! Grrr!

2004-10-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

I HATE MISSY ELLIOT! PERIOD.

All hail Motley Crue!

2004-10-03T18:20:00.000+08:00

It is now 5.51 p.m. on a Sunday. I have this shitload of Costing homework which is due tomorrow on account of my teacher not being present the whole of last week. And I have a financial accounting test on Tuesday. Now if I were LYK, I'd be hitting the books like my life depended on it. But for him, of course it does. You see, if he doesn't get into Cambridge, he's probably going to kill himself. And I shit you not about it.

But me, what am I doing? I am sitting here calmly and blogging. Blissful as though nothing is going on. Even though I have a Law exam in just over a month. But why fret? It's not the end of the world. Now that University of London accepts the scum of the Earth into it's Law course, it's going to be a breeze. Study? Waste of time. I have better things to do.

So here I am. Again. As usual. But I'm calm and serene. Heaven knows why. You know what else I am? Thirsty. But that's fine.

Motley Crue is a brilliant assed band man. Seriously. Where have all these talented musicians gone? It's oh so sad.

I want a typewriter. Beats a laptop any day! The sound of the keys makes you sound like you're doing work. And for anyone who wants to be a writer, it is a must have! The ink stains on your fingers from the ribbon builds character. Oh, and you should watch Secret Window for the following reasons:

1) Johnny Depp is acting in it. (need I go on? oh well, I'll just humour you)

2) It's written by Stephen King.

3) Johnny Depp. (he has a first and last name, so he deserves to be mentioned twice)

4) It's about a writer.

5) It's about scizophrenia. (haha! I just ruined the ending! too bad!)

6) People get brutally murdered. (not really brutally, but I'm Indian. exaggeration is in my genes)

7) He gets away with murder.

8) Johnny Depp man. Seriously.

Well, watch it. I'm waiting and dying for The Da Vinci Code to come out next year. If it comes out during my exams I shall forgo the paper of the day. Not as important.

Sigh, Motley Crue.

Today I was sorely disappointed. I woke up at 4 a.m. But besides that, I was watching tv for an extended period when something very disturbing happened. MTV was playing Ren & Stimpy. Why? Why would such a cool cartoon sell out to MTV? Is it because of Jojo? Yes! Let's blame her!

My cousin has an ipod. I'm not happy. I want one too. People below the age of 18 shouldn't get ipods. They will become insolent.

6.09. I really should be doing my homework. Really. Oh well...

The BenQ phone looks so nice. So does the laptop. I need to inherit some cash.

It is October. People have birthdays this month. Let's see. 8th is Shaun's. 13th is Jo's and 19th is Nic's. I can see the little wings on dollar notes appearing.

Perhaps I should go to sleep. That seems to be all I do. Sleep, fall in love with guitars, listen to music, bitch about school, bitch about MTV. Well, deal with it.

I bought books today. But it's all those classics and stuff. Virginia Woolf and everything. Do you'll know how VW killed herself? She's great. She took an umbrella, walked out of the house, and drowned herself. And the question everyone inevitably asks is, why an umbrella? Well, there is no reason for it. She simply wanted to signify that there is no meaning in life. I love her.

Has anyone read 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf' by Edward Albee? I'm supposed to do it for Litt and I don't know what the hell it's about.

I hate Dzareef and his car. Seriously. It isn't fair.

I'm going to go look for something more constructive to do.

I'm madly in love

2004-10-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

Today, the big "it" of "its" happened. I found love at first sight. Sigh. Red. The colour of passion. Sighhhh. What can I say? This has to be the real thing. I just can't stop thinking about it. It has to be fated! This is what happened. I went to MegaMall and I strayed from everyone else. It was like a force was pulling me. Definately the force. Not like the kind of force Yoda promotes...more like the force which the universe intercepts to make possible. It couldn't have been more perfect. I look around a little, and then it happened! Bam! It's like the entire world stopped and the whole world existed just to bring the two of us together.

The entirely red attire...the height...the pointed ears...everything. Sigh. I'm madly madly in love. It was just perfect. Everything was.

And in 3 months, I will have it.

My new, gorgeous, sweetheart.

My new, gorgeous, red electric guitar. *drool*

Forget men! Them I can live without. This guitar. It is beautiful. December. I need to start saving for my baby. Sigh. So near, yet so far.

RM 778.

You know, it doesn't even matter that I can't play the guitar that well. If I had this one, I'd be spending all day with it.

Sigh. 3 months.

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!

2004-10-03T12:14:00.000+08:00

Okay, today Shaun had a modelling thingy. He has now become a girly-model type! Muahahahhaa! He CLAIMS he didn't wear make-up, but he is LYING! I don't believe him. But it's all well and good. He is uber excited about it.

I have been forced to hide in my room. Too many people. My father has thrown this dinner gathering thingy. I hate making small talk with people. Pisses me off. All this what are you doing, how old are you, staring at my nose ring like I pulled off some angels halo and stuck it up my nostril. I'm 19! What do they think I'm doing? Getting married? And as for my age, why do they bother asking if the next time they meet me they're going to ask again? Either way, I am infinitely younger than all these fossils who keep infesting my space. Do they just ask me so that they can feel worse about the fact that they are going to die sometime soon and I am not? Or do they ask it to torment me about the fact that I am going to outlive them. Morons.

Why is it that everyone keeps telling me to remove my nose ring? Yes, I have changed it from a stud to a ring. Move on! They keep saying, "You look like a cow" Is that really supposed to bother me? If I want to wear a nose ring and look like a cow, why does it affect you? Even if I want to wear a white shirt with brown spots to blend in with cows, HOW would it affect your life? Since I'm all cow-like now, why don't I just eat grass as well. Not just any form of grass of course. Jamaican grass. The kind the farmer Bob Marley has. Bottom damn line, LEAVE MY NOSERING ALONE! It has not done anything to you. What are you so afraid of? That people will mistake me for a cow and make steak out of me? *rolls eyes*

Too many damn people in my house. Ridiculous. Don't they have anywhere else to go? I'd gladly spend my allowance on tourist's guides for them.

There is a guy here who's hand is tattooed. If he can have one, why can't I? And he comes from the self-proclaimed "I am right" generation. So why the hell not? Hell! Even my grandma has a tattoo! The reason I am given is because they needed to be identified if they died. Yeah well, I'm going to die too. I need to be identified too! Stop having double standards! Just because you were born before me does not make you right! It just makes you old!

I wish I had a sister. Then I could clan with her the way my brother's do and ostracize (ostrasize? ostrasise? bah! who cares!) them because they are of a different sex. It's getting really old. Yes go ahead and call me a cow and then giggle to yourselves like a bunch of airheaded girls. I really don't give a shit anymore.

My head is hurting. I need to get away from this shit. Maybe I should go live on a pasture and be bred for beef. Stupid shit.

I know I'm being petty and shit, but just let me be! STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME DAMMIT! Would you rather I become one of those dumb sheep-like females? Yeah why not? They graze on grass in pastures as well. Much like COWS!

Where's a shotgun when you need one.

Oh, Pulp Fiction sucks by the way. It's good for a laugh under extremely dire straits (ooo Dire Straits. I like them!), but other than that it's pretty full of shit. For such a brilliant cast the movie is trash. And the woman you see on the cover which is like the status symbol for the movie, the one lying on her stomach with a fag in her hand, she appears for about 15 to 20 minutes during the movie. Hardly grounds for sole appearance on the cover. John Travolta (who is infinitely hotter) should be the symbol. But, the soundtrack for the movie is great. I love the Mexicana music! There was this trash in the movie about 2 guys shoving a watch up their arse's in a POW camp in Hanoi. Would anyone like to get anymore graphic than that. Sick shit man.

Now I really have nothing that I am dying to watch, so I'm back to making futile attempts at entertaining myself. Stupid.

I bought the coolest diary in the universe yesterday. I'm sure most of you would be familiar with the 'Emily' set of books. This dark goth comic girl on a whole range of diaries and shit. It's damn awesome. It's completely black and comes with a silver pen that actually works. Not like the useless shit you buy in stores which run out of ink after writing 5 and a half words, so you can't even finish the last damn word in the same colour. Damned conspiricies. It's my things. They have minds of their own. Probably stole mine. Fools!

Look at me! Look at me! Moooo! I'm a cow!

Screw that...

I feel like a pauper. I'm disgustingly broke at the moment. Too lecheh to ask my parents for moolah. Not that I'm deprived of it or anything. Just really can't be bothered. I have to repeat everything twice at least. I know people have 2 ears, but it's too much man.

Why am I the only one who thinks the lead of Incubus looks like Keanu Reeves? Why? But seriously, I despise Keanu Reeves. Useless piece of shit. Can't act to save his life.

You know who should be grounded? That stupid little turning-into-a-slut Jojo. She's 13! She should be in school! Not on MTV! Another stupid sappy Britney Spears wannabe. MTV is sending kids to hell with a one way cargo class ticket.

Starsailor is great. The song 'Alcoholic' is great.

But I'm greater. If anyone comments on this statement I am not kidding, but I am going to maim you.

If I met that damn Jojo, I'd send her to Paedophiles Anonymous. Or maybe just to Church. Same treatment. Christians are child molesters. Please don't come and give me this shit that it's not true and it's not all and one bad apple and blah blah blah. I really don't care. If I did, I wouldn't have said it. So shut the hell up and sit down in your confession box!

I think I'm ticked off. I'm not really sure yet.

My stupid green highlighter has no ink. Useless piece of shit!

I feel like setting something on fire. Humans stink when they burn. Please don't set yourself on fire and not die. You'll have the worst b.o. on the planet for the rest of your life.

It is a Saturday night. I am at home listening to music. I must admit that I would rather do this than enter a club. The stupid stale air filled with cig smoke. Gross.

Oh, about cig smoke. Here is my view. If murders go to jail, people who smoke should too. Why? Because they also kill people, but slower. So technically they are breaking the human right law against torture or some shit like that. But seriously. It's the same damn thing. And if cigs and alcohol are legal, why aren't drugs? They all intoxicate you, why the double standard? Stupidity has no limit.

Give me a year. I will kill someone and get out of it. The law is just a set of rules set out by misguided sons of bitches. It can't possibly be anything else. It's just there so that we have to live accordingly with what they think is right. Not everyone has the same set of morals dammit! What about freedom of expression? Am I not allowed to have an opinion? I need my own country.

For the past couple of days, my school has been a shitfest. They had stupid live performances in the cafeteria. Take it some place where people are not trying to socialize with each other damn it! Take it to the hall so that people are no forced to watch your useless crap if they don't want to! Why doesn't anyone else seem bothered by this? Yesterday they had some silat shit and dikir barat. Fuck them man. And the worst part is, the stupid dumbass-infested rodent trap of a school paid these people to do it! I'd pay them to get the fuck out. Irritating cultural shit. Well I wasn't born Malay. Is that okay? Or do I have to respect your stupid traditional trash???

And for the past couple of weeks they've been handing out flyers of some stupid talk on the misconceptions of Islam? What damn misconceptions? You know what was written on the flyer? Polygamy, murder and shit. I mean fuck, aren't you'll guilty of that shit? You people marry 4 times even though it's taking it out of context from why the rule was even passed. It's because during that time there were more women then men! Not because you're a horny bastard! And what else do you call suicide bombings if not murder? Protection of the public? Shove your shit back up your ass man!

This has been a long bitching session. I'm afraid I'm not done yet. My head feels like it's going to explode. *takes a deep breath*

I can smell stupidity in the air. People commonly mistake it for oxygen.

Maybe I should just go to sleep. Everyone out there should watch Donnie Darko. That is what you call taking it with a smile man. He laughed in the face of death! Muahahahhahaa!

Sigh. My sanctuary is calling. Goodnight I guess.

5 days.

2004-10-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

People, don't read this. I just need to vent.

It's Saturday morning. 8.25 a.m. It's going to be a bad day. I can feel it. No one is around. No one to talk to. No one to laugh with. No one who matters anymore. Except family. But are they even there?

I think that stupid bitch killing herself is finally sinking in. It's such a horrible feeling that I don't know what to do. Because I know that I was supposed to go back and spend New Years' with her. And I knew that she meant the world to me. And she called me her best friend. For what purpose? So that she could NOT tell me when she was hurting so much that she wanted to kill herself. Bitch. Stupid, stupid bitch. What else can I say?

2 previous attempts, a million promises, and years of good fun together has come down to this. I give up except to say this. Anyone who wants to kill themselves, stay the hell away from me. Please. I don't need anymore of this shit.

And to the rest of you, stop pretending that you fucking care about me. All of you can just go screw yourselves. I don't need any of you and your bullshit. You'll care so much that you'll don't give a fuck.

And to those of you who are already dead, fuck you'll too. Every last one of you. Dip, Prem, Sharon, Rina, Ana. I hope you'll burn in hell!

Made another homerun to another Friday!

2004-10-02T05:06:00.000+08:00

Guess what! Guess what! I passed Sentencing! Muahahaha! I got a 'B'. Still 1 mark lower than Ying Khai, and I studied. How does he do it? Sigh. I'm miserable! But who cares!

It is Friday. Finally Friday. I'm going to sleep through the weekend. My favourite hobby.

Thinking Skills is the biggest pain in the ass on the planet. And I hope the stupid pie dies. The minute I entered class she was all like "Bhavneet, Meena, you don't have to come to class anymore." And I was so happy that "Thank you" came flying out of my mouth without me meaning to say it. And then she vomits crap like, "You can't cope with this. Already people who come to class are finding difficulty coping". It's underlying arguements. How difficult can it be bitch? So she starts going through this shit that she gave out yesterday and I answered the 1st question correctly. Hahaha up yours bitch! And for the rest of the lesson she didn't ask me to do shit. I can't cope? Really? Funny, didn't sound like it back then!

And after class she's all like, "Bhavneet, please come to class." Make up your mind dumbass!

I hate people who call me Bhavneet. Why inconvenience yourself when 'God' will do?

I shall write again later. I just wanted to bitch about her! I hate her! Dumb woman! Probably sexually deprived.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIVI!

2004-10-01T15:00:00.000+08:00

Shivi shivi shivi shivi! Happy 26th birthday old woman! Make sure you take care of those wrinkles! Muahahahhahahaa! I'll see you in a couple of weeks! Love you like hell! You've been such fun for the time that I've known you! And stop being such a Bira!

Ms. Sharon looks like a pie. Stupid woman!

2004-10-01T07:50:00.000+08:00

I hate school. I don't know how to get that point across strongly enough. I really don't. I got Pulp Fiction today. Haha. I rule the world. Haha.

I may be sleepy. I'm not sure yet. My weird neighbour is waving at me again. I hope she falls out her window. She's damn freaky. The window in my room looks into her room and everytime I look out she waves. Let me just draw the curtains.

I like this font. Maybe I should use it more often. Like all the time.

I feel like spending money. Unfortunately I am highly cash-less at the moment. But it's okay. Tomorrow is a new month.

Today I saw a freak in school. His hair is weird. It's like a bush. He reminds me of Mowgli from Jungle Book. Weird jungle man. I'm going to shave his head if he doesn't do it first.

And something weird happened today. We were all sitting around in the cafeteria during Thinking Skills (no, I did not go to class because my teacher looks like pie) and this group of guys kept following Ninie's every move. They were literally gaping at her. Probably had a bucket of drool with them. So then she started getting these bluetooth messages. The 1st one said "I admire your looks" and it's like noooo, I wonder who it's from. Duh. Then the 2nd one said "How do I contect you." No, it is not MY typo. He actually spelt it as 'contect'. What a fucking doofus. Sounds like a bad word. Way to go Einstein. I'm sure you've impressed her with your spelling ability.

People is school are so weird. It just doesn't end.

I think I may pass my Sentencing test. I wrote a shitload. 2 and a 1/4 pages. I'm becoming a Haida! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Sleepy. I woke up at 2 a.m. No one complain! Someone please tell me what a.m. stands for.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow!!! But we might be playing pool. So I'll go.

It feels like Friday today. My head is messed up.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle and here is my stout. Blah!

I'm going! I'm going!

Bored

2004-09-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

It's 5.10 a.m. Yes. In the morning! I woke up at 2+. Who the hell wakes up at 2 o'clock in the morning? What does a.m. stand for anyway? Already Morning? After Midnight? Stupid shit. I actually studied for the Sentencing test. This is just a point of information for Mr. Anand who is probably not going to read this.

Maybe I should just go back to bed and not go for Law. Mmmm...tempting. But I studied. I'm such a nerd. Bleugh.

30th of September. 1 month and 19 days till my Law 'AS' paper. NOOOOOOOOOO! Stupid shit. Once again I can't do anything for my birthday. Maybe I should just change my birthday to some date where there is never an exam.

I'm so full of shit. I don't know what to do about that.

3 months minus 6 days.

So what now? There is nothing left to talk about.

I wish I had a phone that actually rang! But no! It just had to get spoilt when I recorded the coolest ringtone ever. I have a feeling that my things conspire against me. Like my Legislation notes which happened to disappear when I needed them. Or my accounting work which is already done which is no longer on the table!!! WHOEVER IS MOVING THEM IS GOING TO BE SORRY EVEN IF I CANNOT SEE THEM!

It's not raining anymore. Sad.

Maybe I should skip Thinking Skills today. But that stupid bitch already complained that we don't attend her class for the 2nd time. What a big baby. Deal with your own shit. Don't go whining to other people "ooo no! they don't attend my class! boohoohoo!" This stupid bitch has no sense of humour whatsoever! When anyone tells a joke, she just stares at them blankly. It actually is possible for people to be born without the humour gland.

I would just like to laugh at everyone who has to go for Literature. Just to inform you'll again, I DON'T HAVE TO GO! Muahahahahaha! Stupid! Who wants to do Emma anyway? Except Nona! Crazy woman who loves Emma. And all the guys are going like "yeah, the ending is good." Pussies!

Apparently Jane Austen said that when she wrote Emma she was creating a character which only she would like. What a load of crock! She was probably just using that as an excuse to write a shitty, boring, annoying book. And people go like "ooo wow! she's sooo daring!" Fuck her and her dumb book which tormented me for a period of a few weeks.

35 minutes before I have to get ready for school. What an inconvenient place.

I have no idea why I bother buying magazines. I don't like them, and they just lie on my desk for extended periods of time before a day comes where I go like, "I'd better just read it and get over with it." Sigh, I'm defective.

Man Utd won yesterday. 6-2! Muahahahahaha. Wayne Rooney man! They shall now proceed to winning the season.

I hate Sex & the City. I don't know why they bother showing it in Malaysia. It's such a stupid show and anyway, they cut half the damn episode. Damn that Sarah Jessica Parker.

And again, I'm stuck with nothing to watch. Mudd is lending me Pulp Fiction today. But I forgot to remind her. So maybe not.

Edward Furlong looks like a girl.

American History X is great. I love the scene where Edward Norton (who is a brilliant actor) stomps the guy's head on the pavement! Good shit!

I'm going away now.

Lady of Carnage

2004-09-30T05:11:00.000+08:00

Well, something has finally dawned on me. Maybe it's not everyone else, but just me. Maybe I am the pain in the ass. The person who drives everyone else nuts with my crap. Maybe I drive everyone I love to their grave.

Today is the 29th of September. A Wednesday. I am still alive. I can list a lot of names who I can blame for that.

I hate accounting. Seriously. Now I have to learn about shares. Don't they get it? I DO NOT WANT TO WORK IN THE SHARE MARKET.

Paper on Sentencing for Law tomorrow. I am determined to get an 'A' for this because enough people have gone to jail for me to know why they go to jail and for how long only too well.

Elizabeth Wurtzel makes too much sense to go unnoticed. Check this out:

"Why can't bookstores have a knowledgeable staff? Why

can't they hire college students majoring in English who

at least know something about literature? Is that too

much to ask? I am not walking around Borders looking

for some obscure novel by some Egyptian man who just

won the Nobel Prize - I am simply trying to find a classic

that everyone should have read by the time they graduate

high school."

I have been trying to make this point for ages. At least I'm not the only person who has a problem with incompetence. Why is it so widely accepted? People need to die.

I really don't know what to do with my video camera. It's so cool that I'm lost. I'm going to kill this fly. Damn it!

I need to watch Pulp Fiction.

I saw 'Serendipity' this morning. What a load of shit. Things like this don't happen in real life. They have to stop making stuff that disillusions those of us who don't live in Hollywood. You do not find your soulmate when you go shopping. You find yourself in debt. So don't be stupid. And neither do you find your soulmate online. I hate the word 'Serendipity'. Reminds me of someone who pissed me off. Prick! I hope he dies in a bike accident.

Today is the 29th. 5 days after the 24th. 3 months minus 5 days. What a long way to go.

There is a vast possibility that I am going to be dragged to India in December. It is also a vastly understated statement to make for me to say that I really don't want to go. I hate India. I really don't like being surrounded by poverty. It's not that I feel like I'm too good for all this. It's just that I don't want to be there feeling like a spoilt brat when I can't do anything about it. What the fuck is the point of just standing there and feeling sorry for them. And how much can 1 person do? The fucking UN should be doing something about these people who live on the streets with nothing. Fuck these shameless people.

John Donne is a brilliant poet. I love him. But he became a sell-out at the end of his life. May he burn in hell!

Beats 'Emma' by Jane Austen though.

If only I could do Sylvia Plath. I would just like to state for the record that I am not making an attempt at being gothic, because I find that lifestyle completely full of shit. She is merely a very talented poet.

I hope my skin turns blue. That would be awesome.

I think I'm sleepy. School does this to me. Evil place which sucks out energy!

No one knows what I talk about half the time. Maybe I should just start talking to myself so that they just go away and I don't have to even attempt to make conversation.

I HAVE NOTHING TO READ!

What should I read?

I should be studying for Law. I WILL GET AN 'A'! If I don't I will change my name! I'll let you know to what if I don't get the 'A'.

I really don't think anyone is going to read this. So technically I am talking to myself. Maybe I've already gone mad and I'm lying in a mental institution thinking back to my sane life. Damn, I would love to have padded walls.

My fucking phone isn't working. I mean, it's working, but it doesn't ring. Stupid possessed phone. But I wouldn't change it anytime soon. I love it. It's so pretty! Panasonic X70. I love flip phones.

Damn, I am talking to myself. I'm weird.

Another one bites the dust.

2004-09-29T07:50:00.000+08:00

Sigh. This morning a friend of mine killed herself. I won't mention who. I'm sad I guess, but for some reason I don't feel sad. Neither do I feel happy, nor dissappointed, nor upset, nor depressed. I feel nothing. Maybe a little stupid because from her sentimental behaviour last night I should have guessed. When people tell you that they love you and they are sorry for ever hurting you, it's not because they are repentent, it's because they're going to kill themselves. She was in effect one of my best friends. But it's okay. I understand. And if anything, I envy her. This is not the first time she has attempted suicide. But it's okay. Like I said, everyone goes away, and no one is coming back.

Where the fuck am I heading? To a place where I will have no friends left because everyone has decided to kill themselves. There is no point telling them that they matter because they obviously don't care enough to live for you. It's just this big load of trash about other people hurting them. What about those of us who you hurt by killing yourself?

Fuck all this shit man. Life is just a major train waiting to go off the rails, and I am heading there trying to keep the blindfold on so that I don't know when I go off. Let the freefall begin!

Words don't come easily...

2004-09-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

It is September the 24th. 3.05 in the morning. I should be asleep...or studying...or anything other than what I am doing. I am seated here listening to filth that is not going to make me feel better. Oh well.

The days seem to be coinciding in likeness. It's the same damn routine everyday. And still. at 3.08 in the morning there is no one to talk to. I am talking to this laptop that has become my best friend.

I'm turning 19 in 2 months. In a year and 2 months I will no longer be a teenager. Then what do I blame all this shit that goes on in my head on? Plain old insanity? Perhaps.

Perhaps.

I'm beginning to hate everything. Nothing makes sense anymore. So where do I take it from there? Ignore it and move on? Or screw life over? Time will tell.

Gary Jules sang the song Mad World for Donnie Darko. In it, he said "I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which I'm dying, are the best I've ever had". And people underestimate words. Tsk.

Who am I? I really don't know anymore. I've been moulded, and remoulded. I'm still malleable. Where am I heading? For a dead end. Heading for the headlights head on.

Everyone who matters goes away. But it's okay. But it's not. But I'll live.

No one is coming back.

It is finally Friday. One more day of insatiable indulgence in the process of education. Just one more day before the sanctity of the weekend comes and I can pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist.

I need a break. I just need to go away, crawl into a corner and pretend that only I exist. No public image of acceptance to satisfy. No people who are not funny to laugh with. No memories of people who do not care. No friends who are never there. But, one can only dream.

I'm stuck. Please save me.

Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love...

2004-09-23T18:50:00.000+08:00

The song in the title is by Vonda Shepard. What an awesome song. I know I've been M.I.A recently. Issues. Issues, issues, issues. Oh well!

After watching Girl, Interrupted, I have realized that there is no other future for me. I'm going to end up crazy. And it's not my fault. Blame all these people...

I have realized that I may actually be on my own. No one is there anymore. No one bothers to call and check how I am. Yes, I'm whining. Screw all of you! Where are all these people who I call my 'friends'? Never around when I need them. I shall neglect the mention of names.

End note: Watch Primal Fear. If you don't, I will kill you.

HAPPY BRITHDAY MUTUPUTCHI!

2004-09-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

NAOMI!!! Happy 19th birthday man! I know it's been a while since we've been in touch, and I love you like hell! Hope you have a great day! Hugs!

The voices in my head are humming!

2004-09-12T18:39:00.000+08:00

There is a very great possibility that I am losing my mind. I can't really describe how I know this. It's just a gut feeling. Or maybe, it's not me. It's all these people who swarm around me being stupid. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to talk to stupid people? I mean, I know I keep repeating myself, but people never cease to amaze me. Shouldn't there be a law against people being stupid? I'm not even talking genius level. I'm talking about everyday common sense! Animals are smarter than some of these people. They're like roaches! Everywhere! And for some reason they seem to control how the rest of us live.

Yesterday, I was watching the VMA because nothing else was on tv, and it was nauseating. I wanting to sell off my cable box. That stupid faggot Justin Timberlake won 3 awards!!!! Please excuse me while I go throw up...I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. It's just wrong. Why do they do this to me?

Do people not know what music is anymore? MTV should be banned, along with these stupid rappers who should all be lined up and shot. What kind of stupid name is 50 Cent? Isn't there a limit that these people are not allowed to pass? The frightening part is that people pay these talentless pieces of scum to embarass themselves in public with their bullshit. There is no doubt that one day they will wake up and think, "What a prick I was when I was younger! Why would they support it?" How is it possible that they are always on TV, yet they don't realize how dumb they are? VH1 needs to buy over MTV and revamp all the filth they fill kids' heads with.

All these stupid MTV generation people need to reevaluate their entire lives. All the VJs are idiots. ALL of them. The music they play is trash. Makes me want to block the channel off my cable.

Shit, I'm just so pissed off. What is the point of going to school and working my ass off to attain a law degree, when these morons who spew bullshit all over my TV set are earning millions for no reason whatsoever. They're mostly uneducated fools who are teaching kids that they don't need to go to school to be important. It's wrong. And then they wear suits and rip off the Mafia. You're not Italian you black motherfucker! Piss off! Then on MTV Cribs this stupid black son of a bitch starts imitating Tony Montana in Scarface. They actually get paid to act like stupid pieces of shit on TV.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not racist. I'm anti-stupidity. They go around acting like gangsters, stripping on TV. While I'm at it, look at that fucking bitch Beyonce. That stupid word 'bootylicious' made it into the dictionary. I hate her. She is nothing but a stupid talentless skank.

I don't know how much more of this warped bullshit I can take. It's amazing. The world needs to end and cleanse itself of this stupid trash. I'm willing to sacrifice my own life if all this shit is wiped off the earth.

TV is so full of shit. I give up. Where does it end? I'm going to school and losing out to stupid people. It really pisses me off. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

As for school, it is going to get me nowhere. Even when I do get my Law degree, what good is it going to do? I'm just going to be working like a dog for the next 50 or 60 years of my life. During which my children will probably turn out idiotic because they see all this bullshit on tv telling them that if they aren't failures in life they can't be popular, and then I'm going to have to beat the crap out of them, for which I will go to jail. It's so sad.

I'm not even joking. If I have stupid kids, I will hit them till they become intelligent. I refuse to have kids who have anything less than an above average IQ. Who wants stupid kids? Then again, if you're a dumbass yourself, what else do you expect from your kids? Some people are just death-defyingly stupid.

The sad part is, no matter how much I bitch about it, it's not going to change. It's a never ending cycle which will continue to plague the world. You know, there are some people who are so stupid that they say things like, "Oh, I'm vegetarian but I eat chicken." How the fuck does that make you a vegetarian? Shove your shit back up your ass!

I am actually fuming right now. I think my head is going to pop.

Idiots. I'm going to have a heart attack.

Tomorrow...tomorrow...hope there are no more tomorrows!

2004-09-04T07:29:00.000+08:00

Friday. Don't you just love Fridays? The week ended surprisingly fast. Maybe because school started on Wednesday this week. Unfortunately, that does not mean that I'm not tired. I am shacked out. Seriously. And what's worse is that I've got to keep my spelling in check because there is a Leo who's ego is overflowing who will be checking up on me and holding it against me that I got A2 for my 'O' Level English! But it's okay. I forgive him. Even I have my imperfections. Haha.

I'm sleepy. I woke up at 4 a.m. today. Surprised? Don't be. I slept at 8.30 last night. We've got Law tests every Friday. How sadistic is that? But I guess in a way its good. Oh well! Paper's in Nov.

I hate Thinking Skills. My teacher is such a condescending bitch! She's teaching us shit. We are learning what arguements are. No, I'm not joking. The sad part is that she thinks I'm stupid because I don't stoop down to her level of filth. And her English is nauseating. Why don't people speak proper English? I simply cannot understand it. It's a universal language. Everybody speaks it. Get it right! It's not like I'm asking you to learn Finnish or something. Please, spare me.

We started the book 'Emma' by Jane Austen for Litt this week. What a seriously crappy book. It bores the hell out of me. Even the movie does. All this feel good- superiority-class-distinction shit!Why can't we do something like 'The Godfather'? That would be bloody brilliant! I'm the Don after all!

I'm supposed to go bowling tomorrow with Meena and Haida and Liyana and Mudd and so on. Should be pretty fun.

Has anyone read the book 'Porno'? It's the sequel to 'Trainspotting'. Look at me being excited. Woohoo!

I have no life. It is dawning on me and I don't find it very appealing. I spend my days in the following order. Wake up, go to school, come back, eat, watch tv, eat, do homework (on occasion), read, sleep. What the hell is up with that? Shit. I seem to have no friends. Okay, maybe I do, but they're all in school. I have no friends outside school! They're all in Singapore. I actually socialize with my family. Damn, I'm a loser.

I need sleep. Sleep...mmm....

Life is losing its lusture. Alliteration. Random spewing of bullshit. Bored. Eyelids defying gravity. Tiamat. Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas. James Patterson. Ring. Watch. Table. Laptop. Lousy. Old. Heavy. Help. Bored. Taliban. Opposite. Me. Butterfly. Noisy. Blue. Green. Black. Purple. Staple. Staples. Stapler. World. Death. Stupidity. Taliban.

Okay. I think I will stop that. What the hell is wrong with me? Yes, I know you're wondering the same thing. I have weird random thoughts. Blah!

Ah! Screw this.

'Significant of mock death'

2004-08-26T13:00:00.000+08:00

This is what my Literature teacher wrote on the board today.

Today, I can swear that I saw my life flash before my eyes. I have been so ticked off the whole day that I thought a vein in my head was going to burst and kill me.

I cannot begin to describe how pissed off I am. If I had a gun right now, there would be a lot of bodies littering my path.

Let me explain. I got my Literature results today. I flunk. That's all well and good. I'm not bitter about the fact that I failed. Because if it was justified, I would have no complaints. But it's not. Abso-fucking-lutely not!

Let me explain further. The only person who got an 'A', got it unfairly. Why? It's not the resentment speaking by the way. He got an 'A' because he quoted other critics. Need I say more? Furious. Just so furious. Literature essays are about YOUR fucking opinion! Not someone else's!

I'm actually at a loss for words because I'm so pissed off. Someone has to save me from myself.

When someone who spells Karl Marx as Karl Marks fails me, I am entitled not to accept it.

I am disturbed.

How can someone who you know is infinitely stupider than you make you feel bad about yourself?

And after she commented about my essay I couldn't help wondering whether she was blind or just plain stupid! Whatever she said was missing from my essay was right there in plain view of everyone who reads it. And she said MY essay was incoherent? I have lost all hope in humanity. Someone please blow my head off. I will pay you!

My writing is incoherent. Please. Don't read my blog. It's incoherent.

Now I feel better. Edward Norton is on TV. Mmmm....Edward Norton. I love him.

If anybody thinks I am exaggerating about my litt teacher's stupidity, you are welcome to join my class and experience the overwhelming brain cell homicide for yourself.

Thank god, our teacher is changing next week. Muahahaha! My petition worked! I hope she chokes while praying and dies.

Shit, I'm just so pissed. I don't know how to deal with it. HELP! HELP! Traumatized! Okay. I'm going away now.

I'm in Bangkok

2004-08-19T16:47:00.000+08:00

Hello disciples. I am on holiday. Have been since Saturday. I'm having a pretty good time I guess. I'll be back on Friday. So for those of you who have been e-mailing and smsing me about whether I am still alive, you need a life. Seriously. Don't you have anyone else to bug?

And no, I am not buying gifts for any of you! Muahahahaha. Actually, it's because I have not seen anything gift-worthy. That's because if it's nice, it's for me! Muahaha!

The last 10 minutes have brought good news. Maddox (http://maddox.xmission.com) is coming out with a comic book. How awesome is that?! Now my life is complete!

Anyway, results will be out next week. Disaster. Utterly disastrous. These sadistic people POST the damn results to our houses. What the hell is up with that?

I'm supposed to be packing. So much for that.

This country is weird. The other day on the radio this woman was forecasting the news and she suddenly stopped and said that the computer broke down and that the technician was not around.

Tomorrow I am going visiting. How exciting. I have way too many relatives here. And they are all scattered all over the place and I am obligated to go and meet them. Oh well.

If anyone ever comes to Bangkok, eat the butter cake from S&P man. I could live on the stuff.

It's hot.

I'm melting.

You know, the dictionary is becoming ridiculous. It was previously a book from which you could gain some knowledge, now it's become a joke book. Stupid. It is sinking down to the level of people who are too illeterate and lazy to speak and spell properly. I'm sure you know the word 'amend' ( if you don't, please feel free to ask me for some string so you can rid yourself from the world). What is the purpose of having the word 'emend' which has the exact same meaning as well? I know the importance of synonyms, but still. It's one bloody letter. What the hell is the difference?

Okay. I have found something more interesting to do. I'm going to eat bread, butter and jam. Mmm....mmmm...

Flowers are my best friend

2004-08-12T03:57:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm still alive. I'm as surprised as you are! Papers started yesterday. I went to school assuming that I would suffer during my Costing paper, and make up for how badly I did for it with my Financial Accounting paper. Alas, I was wrong! The basic fact that I pretty much suck at Costing made a paper bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I could do most of it. But the answers are probably bordering on being completely wrong. Then, I had Financial Accounting. I don't even know where to start. Firstly, the vein on my right thumb burst and my thumb started turning green. I mean, couldn't it have chosen a better time? But I'm left-handed, so that wasn't really a problem if you don't take into account the throbbing pain.

Okay, so the thumb was irrelevant to the exam. But the paper. I could just murder my teacher. The paper was 1 hr and 15 mins long. We were supposed to get 15 MCQ questions. So I sat there before the paper started and wondered okay, so maybe I should do the other questions and then the mcq...hmm...why is the paper so thin? And then I open it and the scene before me raped my eyes and traumatized my brain! Two pages. Question 1, question 2. 1 page per question. Bottom of page 1, you are required to correct the errors in the Trial Balance with journal entries, construct the Suspence a/c AND re-adjust the Net Profit. Page 2, after a page infested with information that would take at least an hour to tabulate, prepare a Trading, Profit & Loss a/c and Balance Sheet.

I sat there for 5 minutes in shock. Thinking, where the hell is the MCQ? Then thinking, maybe I should walk out. Then thinking, fuck! I'm going to fail! Then thinking, shit! Time! Then thinking, Suspense a/c. She knows my weakness. She's playing on it!

I hate her.

So okay, by some amazing feat performed by me, I managed to complete the paper, but I hadn't drawn the line. So while drawing the lines, I realized why my Balance Sheet was not balancing. But noooooo! Time was up. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Why is it called a Balance Sheet if it refuses to balance? Argh! I'm so pissed! And I'm so going to fail.

So I got over that. And today was Law P1. I was shacked out yesterday, after recovering from the trauma of the Accounting papers. So I didn't start studying until midnight. Blah. I managed to concept map whatever I could and got to bed by 3. Only to be bugged by whatever the hell it is that was pulling on my blanket. So around 4.30 I fell asleep. At 6.30, an alarm which I did not set on my phone started ringing. So I got up and switched it off. An hour later, my mom wakes me up. So all's well and good. I managed to study for the paper and cram all the crap into my already bruised brain and I went for the paper. I guess it was okay, but for the last question I forgot the disadvantages of tribunals. Too much info, too little time. And my hand was hurting.

All in all, I highly doubt I'm going to make it as a Lawyer. Neither am I going to make it as an accountant. So where does that leave me? As a florist? Perhaps.

I've got Thinking Skills (I'm not too keen on it either) and Litt tomorrow. And Law P2 on Friday. And then on Saturday I'm off to Bangkok.

How far away Saturday seems. Sigh.

Happy Birthday James

2004-08-09T15:45:00.001+08:00

I highly doubt you're going to see this James, but happy birthday nonetheless. Just wanted to put this up anyway.

Let's see, I've known this ass for almost 3 yrs. Come December it'll be 3 years. To date he's been one of the best friends anyone could possibly ask for. I know for those of you who've stepped on his toes, you're probably wondering what the hell it is that I am talking about, but trust me on this, he really is a great friend to have.

Well James, if I praise you anymore, I will be boosting your ego, so no! I will not go on!

Update: The reason why this post is so late is because I forgot to post it, because I forgot to ask him if it's okay to post it. Damn, I'm so polite! And James, you're an ass. You will find no more mistakes on my blog!

I'll put a spell on you...you'll fall asleep

2004-08-03T08:19:00.000+08:00

Aqualung. What an awesome song. It's just so nice. Well, got back from school a while ago. Have I mentioned that I hate accounts? Okay, so maybe I don't! But that's besides the point completely! Stupid retarded test! Sometimes I just marvel at my stupidity! How could I have forgotten the stupid mark-up formula? I'm such a genius sometimes. But, WHO CARES?

Exams are starting on the 10th. Which is next Tuesday. I've got a day off on Monday. Yeah, like that is so going to help me get better grades! But what's cool about it is that it's only 4 days. So I end on Friday and then I'm free! Yay! Free! But before that there's going to have to be some intensive studying. What a disgusting thought. What's wrong with me? I talk about studying in every single blog. Eeee! I'm turning into a nerd. That may not be such a bad thing after all.

*Yawn* Slept at around 4 this morning. It took me half an hour to drag myself out of bed. It was terrible. But I guess it was a pretty good day today. I didn't actually do much. I went for Litt today. Half of it at least. She keeps getting stupider. She pronounces 'cloth' as 'clothes'. And she's one of those annoying people who puts their glasses at the tip of their noses! I hate that! Why do they do it? Is it just another one of those things people do to piss me off????

Tomorrow is my grandma's birthday. I doubt I'll grow to be as old as her. I intend to die off by the time I'm 45. 50 latest. I mean, it's so inconvenient to go senile and become an invalid and stuff. Don't you think so? I'm not saying I have anything against old people. I love my grandma. She's great. She's got lots of spunk for her age. Shit, did I just use that word? Bleugh! But nothing can touch my friend's grandmother. It's hilarious. Apparently whenever he goes over to her place they wrestle! A 90 year old wrestling with a 19 year old. That is certainly something I would pay to see!

Yesterday Barney was in town. And as Maddox puts it, he's a 'child molesting' purple dinosaur. I don't understand why people would subject their kids to such lies. Dinosaurs are not purple, they don't talk, they're extinct and they most definately do not hug children. They eat them! And then they go around stomping on things smaller than them. Awesome! Kids should be thought the truth. I refuse to have stupid children who have idealistic crap clogging their heads. I mean, why not tell them the truth. It's because of the lies parents tell their kids that kids learn to lie. It's basically the same thing. And I hate it when you ask a question and your parents say something along the lines of "Because I said so and I know what's good for you." The word 'why' asks for a valid reason. Not some superiority clad crap.

Damn I'm sleepy. *Yawn* Just curious, is the word 'yawn' contagious?

I think the song is making me sleepy! Let's see...what should I listen to...ah. Maksim. Listen to the track 'Claudine'. It's the 4th song on his CD. It's great stuff. Very calming.

Today I saw a music video which was pretty interesting. Can't remember the band, but the song was called 'Year of the Rat'. I think the moral behind it was some bullshit that tries to justify molesting by saying that you should hug people who are pissed off, but there was this scene which was funny as hell. This woman breathed fire onto a guy and he hugged her and she caught on fire too. It sounds stupid when I explain it, but it was a nice scene. Sometimes I wonder how people come up with their ideas.

Like Dan Brown. Until now I'm in awe about how he wrote The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons. They are two absolutely amazing books. He deserves a Nobel Prize. Just like I do. Someone nominate me for the Nobel Prize.

You know, some people in school really piss me off. Even if I don't know them, they piss me off. How do they do it? There is this girl. I have never spoken to her, but seriously. She is one person who needs to be banned from speaking. If she goes dumb the world will be a better place. She literally screeches whenever she talks! I feel like beating her to death with my shoe! She's like one of those annoying toys kids play with that make that "squeaaak" sound when you press it and let go. It gets on my nerves! Maybe she swallowed one of them as a child.

Then there are other people. All these Christians. They're like this breed of aliens. They keep spewing bullshit like "If you're not a Christian, you're going to Hell." Oh yeah, how about I shave your head and tattoo a nice big 666 across your bastardized skull! I HATE people like that! There is no competition. If I had a choice to kill off 3 things in this world, the first would be roaches, the 2nd would be Christians and the 3rd would be people who can't speak proper English. But these Christians! Seriously. I mean, it's perfectly fine to believe what you want to, but to force people to see things their way is just plain stupid! I know people don't have their own opinions, and get conned into joining the cult of Christians, but please, leave the rest of us the hell alone! Oh no! I said Hell! I'm going there! Oooo! Look at me! Pissing all over the place from fear! Screw off man! They act all holier-than-thou which pisses me off even more! They always have this idiotic smug look on their faces! Why don't you crucify yourselves? Fools! I'm not going to fall for your propaganda! I hope you choke!

Then there are the OTHER people in school who I don't like. Some of them aren't very bright. I cannot be more blatant than I am being about not liking them. I literally say, "I don't like you. Go away!" And they assume I'm kidding. Blah!

It's Monday. Sigh. 4 more days. I need sleep! My eyes are turning blue! Noooo! Oh wait, that's just eyeshadow! Lame, yes I know. Happens when I'm sleepy.

I can't wait to retire. I just want to sleep all day. I want a water-bed. I don't think I'll ever leave my house!

I think I need new shoes. Mine are falling apart. But then Slash has the same shoe! Ah! Who cares! Seems like I'm never going to meet him. But it's okay. When I become a lawyer I'll sue him or something! Damn, I sound so childish.

Alright, I have purged my thoughts onto the page. I shall now retire to the wonderful sanctity of slumber.

Well I'd rather cut you than the wedding cake...

2004-08-02T12:30:00.000+08:00

The title is from the song Die My Bride by Murderdolls. The lyrics are awesome. Funny as hell! http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/murderdolls/diemybride.html

So I'm back here again. I've evidently got no life. It's so boring at home. There is nothing to do, no one to talk to. I think I should take a vow of silence towards my family members for the next few years. No one pays any attention, so why bother? And then they complain when I'm online or doing something else. It makes no sense.

Don't know why, but I'm really down today. Just feel like no one is there to listen. So I talk to myself. Ridiculous. It's 9 p.m. You know, e-mails are so impersonal. I don't understand why people are so opposed to writing proper letters. I love them. I mean, don't you get really happy when you receive (recieve?) mail in a nice envelope, with your name on the front, with a date stamped on the stamp, and you wonder who it's from. For some reason, from the handwriting I usually know who it's from. I love receiving mail. It's so nice. It's really nice of some people to actually take out the time to write to me. Thank you.

I'm being nice. Don't get used to it.

Damn it's boring. THERE'S NOTHING TO DO! Save me!!! If anyone else is really bored, check out the site http://boredatwork.com . It's got some really funny articles. My personal favourite is the one about Badass Australian Cows.

Recently Velvet Revolver has been on TV a lot. As everyone already knows, I love Slash! He's amazing. 39 and still going strong. Hopefully 1 fine day I'll get to meet him. 1 fine day. That's assuming his alcohol, drug and tobacco consumption don't catch up with him anytime soon.

You know, I saw this amazingly hugeass beanbag the other day! When I say huge, I mean it! 5 of me can fit on it! And it's black in colour! Bloody awesome man. I've got to get one! My birthday is coming, *hint* *hint*! Muahahaha Kidding kidding! But frankly, the price is pretty okay. RM 400+. Nearing 5 i think. But compared to prices for beanbags in Sg, it's reasonable as hell! There, for a beanbag which can hardly fit 1 person, it's about $200. The one I saw can double up as a bed! Seriously awesome! I've GOT to have one!

Hmm...bored...

Honestly think about something. What happens if one day you get bored of yourself? I mean people get bored of their lifestyles, their possessions, their families, their friends. What if they simply can't stand themselves one fine day? Has anyone ever gone through that? It's quite a weird thought. How do you live like that? Like waking up every morning and going, "Oh shit! I'm me again!"

I need a sister. Not some pink-loving bimbotic sister. Someone remotely tolerable who lives with me. Unfortunately, you can't choose your relatives...I don't really have a problem with mine though. It's just some people. I won't go into that again.

Everyone should read the book Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel. It's great! The movie came out this year. Evidently it's banned here! I give up. Christina Ricci is in it.

Another book everyone should read is Thus Spake Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche. It just makes so much sense. Actually, all of Nietzsche's books make sense. He is by far the most interesting philosopher to live. In Thus Spake Zarathustra, there is a particular passage about writing which will interest those who are aspiring. Damn, I love him!

Sigh. Back to boredom. Adieu! Adieu!

Dream Theatre Day

2004-08-02T11:18:00.000+08:00

Today, Space Dye Vest has been infecting my brain. The song has just been running through my mind all day. But it's great. Went out earlier. For about an hour. With Regine. It took me almost an hour to convince my dad to let me go. Oh well...At least I got my overpriced coffee.

Oh anyway, her name is Bandhna! Not BandhAna! Happy now? Lol! But I do know how to spell it. I was just tired.

Preeto, leave me your blog addy. Missing you loads! It's been awhile. Know you're busy with your A's being around the corner and all, but don't overstress yourself. You will definately do well. You are after all blessed by me! Haha

Am hoping to go back to Singapore at the end of the month. Sarwes is going into NS early September. Everyone seems to be going places. It's kind of sad. I haven't really spoken to him for a really long time.

Well, all good things must come to an end....cliche number 1.

I have nothing to read. It's boring. Recommend something.

Today's been pretty dead. I really don't know what to do. Boredom is plagueing me. I don't even want to study. I'm so sick of the monotony of it. How much am I going to learn anyway. Feels like such a waste of time. But I know I should be doing something. But really, who cares. Seems that I'm losing focus. Not good news.

Someone please recommend some good music. I'm so bored with what I listen to.

On the bright side though, I'm getting my room back today! Yay! Look at me being happy! Yay! I seriously love my bedsheet. All the little sheep and stuff. Oh, I didn't mention that did I? I love sheep! Love! Lamb actually. They're cute as hell.

School tomorrow. Another day...another crappy day. 8 to 4. Oh the humanity! How sadistic is the fact that I've got 2 periods of Costing tomorrow? Why?! Evil! And I've got Litt! Ying Khai has my book. I shall beat him tomorrow! Thief! Or is it theif? My Litt teacher is causing my english to deteriorate. You know what's the most revolting part about her? She teaches the UNSW foundation students English! And she spells pursuit as 'persuit'. I know! It's terrible!

Might be playing Futsal in between classes on Tuesday with my Litt classmates. Sounds like fun! I've got 4 hours. But we'll see la.

It's August today. Yes, I'm stating the obvious. Damn, I'm being so boring. Well, I guess talking to yourself is like that. August. James' birthday is in 8 days. 9th of August. Rudy's is on the 8th. But then I have no idea where Rudy has disappeared to. Gotta track him down. James is turning 26. Haha old man! My exams are starting on his birthday. Sadists! Law papers are on the 11th & 13th. I've already stated quite clearly that I probrably won't do too well. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I'm not motivated anymore. The end is so far away.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. It's just going away year after year with nothing to show for it. I'm turning 19. I have achieved nothing. Maybe that's just what I'm here for. To be a stepping stone for other people to do well. Blah! I have no idea what I'm going on about. Give me 5 years. I will have it all.

All I really want in life is a shitload of money. Piles and piles of it. Materialistic? Maybe. Practical? Definately. Contrary to popular belief, money does make the world go round. Of course money can buy happiness. Haha.

Okay. I'm going away now.

Clarification Mainly

2004-08-01T13:29:00.000+08:00

Okay, firstly I would like to state that my family is not COMPLETELY dysfunctional. There is Bandhana a.k.a BMW (Bimbo Moron Woman) who insisted that I clarify that she isn't dysfunctional. So the fact that she is bimbotic is forgiven because she's the terrific adopted sister that I never had. And I love her (I'm at gunpoint)! Oh, and she called me today, so I guess that warrants praise of some sort.....let's see....hmmm....

hmmmmmmmmmmm.....

hmmm....

OH! I KNOW! wait, that's not it!

hmmm....

Oh! Okay! She gave me a nice birthday present last year! Muahahahah Love you sis!

So it's Saturday night...tomorrow is Sunday. At some point during this weekend I will have to eventually get down to doing some work. Eventually. So much homework, so little time, so little care on my part.

Then there's Monday. I have Literature. I honestly see no purpose in going for class. I can safely say that I am smarter than my teacher. Not just smarter. It's like comparing the intelligence of humans to ostriches. Honestly speaking, there is absolutely no excuse for her stupidity! I mean honestly, she teaches ENGLISH Literature! The least she can do is be able to speak English fluently! Damn do I hate her! For those of you who have done Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, in the book there is reference to Hercules in the context of manhood and she dishes out this bullshit about the reference is to the fact that he had to wear a skirt! I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry man. It's ridiculous!

I can't understand why she gets paid! I mean shouldn't I get paid for clarifying all her mistakes in class? And why should I hand in any work? It's not like she has the aptitude to mark anything I write. Stupid bitch! We even signed a petition against her, but nothing has been done as yet. When will the madness end?! When?! Stupid Ms. Azizah! BITCH!

But on the bright side, I've got Law first thing in the morning. Makes the day more bearable I guess. Seriously speaking, to have to wake up at 6 a.m. to be in class by 8 a.m. is absolutely unforgiveable! But it doesn't seem too bad to be greeted by someone who can make you laugh when most people are still warm and cozy in their little beds! He's an excellent teacher. Someone who can really hold people's attention for a span of 2 hours even.

So anyway, just a little end note. If anyone would like to give me money, you're more than welcome! Haha! And away I go!

Gloom in the Afternoon

2004-08-01T06:57:00.000+08:00

Another rainy afternoon. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Just makes you want to sleep. Oh well.

You know, I love nothing more than rainy days. I don't want to sleep because I love the feeling of being indoors while it's pouring and thundering outside. It just makes me so happy. Makes me feel like writing.

Unfortunately, for the past 6 months I've been having writer's block. I'm still an amateur, but perhaps one fine day I'll win a Pulitzer for abook which is not even in the planning stages yet. Time will tell.

Saturday. There was one of these last week too. But nvm. Won't go into the whirlwind of crap going through my head.

Music is such an amazing thing. Today has been a Radiohead and Tiamat day. I've been replaying 'My Iron Lung' and 'Do You Dream of Me' since heaven knows what time. You know, sometimes the way a singer sings can invoke a lot in you. Like for example, you know the song 'She Will Be Loved' by Maroon 5? When I hear the first line of the chorus which goes like 'I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain" there is a certain way in which Adam Levine sings the word 'rain'. Just that word. It somehow makes me remember everything about the moment I heard that song, the person who told me to listen to it. Everything.

I know I sound weird, but it seems as though music is this enormous part of my life. Like the song 'She Will be Loved'. Reminds me of James because he sent me that song. And then it reminds me of Lav because she was working in HMV at that time. And then it reminds of me of the band Muse because I couldn't decide whether to buy Songs about Jane or Absolution.

Muse. What an amazing band. People, listen to 'Unintended'. It is guaranteed to bring a tear to your eye if you're down. His voice is absolutely amazing. There is this line in the song which goes like "I'll be there as soon as I can, but I'm busy mending broken, pieces of, the life I had before" Forget the words man, listen to how he pulls his voice. It's amazing! Seriously.

And what about Soul Asylum? Heaven knows when I first heard 'Misery'? I think it was during that time in Singapore when Lauretta Alabonse was hosting Vidz. I was really young and my brother had recorded the music video of it. I remember asking my mom what the word 'frustrated' meant and she just told me not to use it. Parents in denial. Sigh. What's new? Damn that was long ago. I was probably below the age of 10. I remember the video was pretty cool. It was of CDs being manufactured. And the cds were pink in colour and stuff.

Shit, it's like having flashbacks. Maybe I'm dying!

Okay, off the topic of music. I saw Lilo & Stitch today. It may very well be my favourite animated movie. I mean seriously. Stitch is adorable as hell! They need to manufacture them for retail.

Sigh, I feel so sober today. Like someone died.

Maybe its the rain. I love the weather.

ARGH!

2004-07-31T11:26:00.000+08:00

I'm just SO pissed off right now! People are going rampant and doing stupid things to deliberately annoy the living crap out of me! Why?! I don't do stupid things to you'll! I hope all of you trip and fall into a vat of boiling oil! Why can't they just leave me alone?

It all started yesterday! When I asked my mother for a sandwhich. Bread, butter and cheese (and her own addition of cucumber (puke))! Seriously, how difficult is it to make something like that?! Guess what happened. The bread was smelling of paint. HOW THE HELL DOES BREAD SMELL LIKE PAINT?! In which stage of production do they add PAINT into bread? I mean, it may not technically be her fault, but still, PAINT? Amazing!

And then I was watching The Passion of the Christ (why THE Christ I don't know) just now and people kept walking IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION! Are they absolutely convinced that they are transparent?! Idiots! Then the phone keeps ringing and stupid old people WHO DON'T KNOW WHO I AM call MY HOUSE! And people just keep calling, and calling, and calling...they don't stop! I mean seriously, can't they call someone else? Why here? When I am watching a movie! And then fine. The movie ends. Well and good. I start watching The Importance of Being Ernest. Phone rings. The mother unit's call. 10 minutes. She is on the phone. The movie is paused. She gets off the phone. Excellent. THE GOD DAMN DOORBELL RINGS! The door bell!!!! Visitors! Seriously, GO AWAY! We never called you to come! No one did! Piss the hell off! And they have the audacity to smile and go "Hehe, sorry about the tv." No bitch! Get the hell out or you WILL be sorry!

So now I'm here ranting again! Why do people insist on annoying the hell out of me! Of course that isn't the end! In a few hours more people are coming! Guests are coming to stay! For heaven's sake, we moved away! Why don't they get the message! We DON'T want you here! Stop coming! Honestly, if they come once in 6 months, or once a year it's perfectly fine! But EVERY month? Why??? Don't they have to work? Do they lack the smallest bit of courtesy? It's bad enough that there are barely enough rooms for the people here, you come and squeeze out what little space we have from under out noses? I mean seriously. Just because you're family doesn't mean I have to like you!

So once again tonight I am going to have to give up my room to people who sleep early which means that I am going to be stuck doing NOTHING for the weekend. Even though I had plans to study. So my teachers cannot blame me for not handing my work in even though I'm blogging when I should be doing it. And they just HAD to come when my exams are looming overhead so that I fail and people blame me and not them! You see! It's not my fault! It never was!

My room! MINE! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I did not decorate it for people to use it! I decorated it for ME to use it! No one gets that! And no, I'm not being selfish and irrational! My family is dysfunctional! You wouldn't know though would you?!

And now the stupid internet is pissing me off! I hate my neighbours! Their stupid internet is so slow! Stupid people! And this dumb fly needs to stop flying around me! I'm going to kill it! Hah! With my bare hands! Hah! Stupid fly!

Bah!

Finally Freedom Falls From Friday

2004-07-31T05:21:00.000+08:00

The title makes no sense. I know. But it's okay. I'm not in a sensible mood today. It's FINALLY Friday! I'm down with a disgusting bout of the flu! How sad is that! It's the bloody weekend! I need to catch up on all my overdue assignments! Muahahaha! Gotcha! Yeah right! Looks like it's going to be another wonderful weekend curled up on the couch watching movie after movie, or reading book after book, or maybe a mix and match. Damn! I sound like a nerdling! So what movie should I watch today...hmm...I was thinking Trainspotting...or maybe Fight Club (again)...perhaps The Importance of Being Ernest. Or maybe I could stay online all day and wait for SOME people to come online. Nah. Not worth it. What to watch...what to watch...Lilo & Stitch perhaps. Haha Stitch. Reminds me of Meena and Ninie.

You know, contrary to my bitching on Wednesday night, yesterday was a pretty good day! After law, there was a self-proclaimed holiday from Cost Accounting during which I was studying for my Financial Accounting test. Okay, that's not true. But you wouldn't know that would you? So anyway, my accounting teacher made my day by not turning up. I mean its about bloody time she took a holiday! Bleugh! So for the next 5 hours I did nothing. Literally nothing.

I sat there bugging people who had to study for the Malaysian Studies paper. And it was awesome. We literally sat there talking crap for 5 hours. I can't even do that at home! Haha But its all good! So anyway, Mudd was sitting there and to help her memorize, reciting everything to me, and who knows where in my head it all got stored, so when we actually had to do the paper, I could answer most of it. Lol. Ridiculous. I pity all those who actually studied. They should have just sat around listening to Mudd. But she definately succeeded in making everyone panic about the paper. She kept dishing out random facts that nobody knew, so they all started studying harder. And then along comes Nona all happy and gay saying that she can't be bothered to study and all, and after 5 minutes she was beside me cramming facts into her head! (During which she took out the time to explain to me that her pink shoes matched the pink hemming on her skirt) I had no idea what to say. People who do these things scare me.

So back to more important issues. What should I watch? Ah! Forget it!

I think I'm sleepy again. But how is that possible? I slept at 7 p.m. yesterday! And I woke up at 10 a.m. this morning! That's 15 hours. It's almost twice the amount of sleep kids need. I guess when everything in life is irrelevant you get sleepy faster. Irrelevance is good. Sleep...mmmm.....

I have no idea what to talk about anymore. I'm going away. Oh by the way, for anyone who wants a good laugh, check out http://maddox.xmission.com

He's my idol! Haha

Time Bomb in My Head

2004-07-30T10:16:00.000+08:00

I'm sick. Who the hell knows how? I woke up this morning, and went to school. Went for law...but nvm that! The best thing in the universe happened! My financial accounting teacher didn't come! Muahahaha life is sweet sometimes! I am talking straight through my fingers right now. I can't even breathe! Let alone think straight. It's 7.13 pm. Who the hell sleeps at 7.13 pm? Well, I'm going to so stop complaining! Oh by the way, I would like to state for the record that I HATE the colour PINK! I hate it! It's so girly! The only reason I like the sweater is because it's from a friend. And its soft! WHY AM I EXPLAINING MYSELF?! I really must be sick! I'm going to bed. I certainly know who to blame for this!!! Argh. No energy to shut down or move. Help. Okay! Ima going ima going!

Pieces of Me

2004-07-29T16:13:00.000+08:00

For starters, I am very much aware that the stupid title is oh so tacky. But who cares? This is MY blog! Not like anyone's gonna read it. I just like talking to myself.

Amazingly, my mood has dramatically improved since earlier in the evening. I would like to thank Puppy. Muahahahaha I still don't believe you would let anyone call you that! Ass! Haha

Today, the world appears in tatters for me. Everyone is going away. Abandoning me. It's just sad la. The last time I saw all of you was at the end of last month, but it feels like its been centuries. All of you appear to be too busy with your own lives, and I don't blame you, but it's just so difficult sometimes because I've known you'll for so long now and it's you guys who I need to be by my side. Who else knows me better than I know myself? Even I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. This is ridiculous. I'm going nuts.

La la la...

La...

I like my pink sweater...la la la...

It's soft.....la la la

Soft...la la la

S...
O...
F...
T...

S

O

F

T....

Nvm. It's just one of those days where I don't know what to talk about so I'm ranting about stuff that is inane.

I have an accounts test tomorrow. Evil! I mean seriously. Why do I have to learn about Single Entry & Incomplete Records? People who don't do their accounts properly need to be put out of business! They're just wasting my time and conspiring against me to make sure that I fail! You'll think I don't know it, but I'm on to you!

I've got such a ridiculously long day tomorrow. RIDICULOUS! 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.! Isn't there a law against making people go to school for more than 8 hours? If people work from 9 to 5, schools should only function from 9 to 1. Unless I don't like the person. That's different. They should be chained to their desks and forced to do Single Entry & Incomplete Records for 23 hours a day! The 1 hour can be used for bathing or any other form of necessary function.

I have a Malaysian Studies paper tomorrow.

These are the following arguements I have against having to take it:

1) I'm not Malaysian.

2) I really don't care. I'm not kidding.

3) People need to stop living in the past.

4) I do not need to pass it. It is just a mere formality.

5) I had to sit through 3 months worth of classes for this. (The fact that I hardly went is irrelevant)

6) I really, really don't care. I can't stress this enough.

7) The people we're learning about are dead.

8) Transvestites were mentioned in one of the lectures making this subject immoral and therefore it should be banned.

9) There are people I REALLY do not like in the class.

10) It's too damn cold in the lecture hall even with a jacket on!

Bah! I guess I'm done for today! Sleepy! Test! EVIL!!!!!!!!

Another day....Another heartbreak...

2004-07-29T09:18:00.000+08:00

Love is an illusion. For anybody planning to give me any feel-good crap about it, I hope you choke and die and your brain spurts green goo! What is the matter with people? WHAT?! Perhaps it's just me. I get lost in everything. Nothing makes sense anymore. Love is a 4-lettered word. Need I say more? People just get caught up in emotion and run around proclaiming stupid nonsense along with public displays of affection. Honesty is irrelevant. Completely, hopelessly irrelevant. Nobody tells their partner "I like you for your boobs" or "I like you for your money". It's always some trash about liking them for their personality. It's crap. Never going to happen. Find me one person. Just one person who can without being in denial say that they are out with someone for who they are, and only that. There's always some other nonsense involved. People whore themselves.

Ah! Screw it! Even I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I hope everyone just gets run over by a monster-truck!

The Purpose of Beauty

2004-07-28T12:16:00.000+08:00

Beauty was created to be destroyed. Roses wilt, people wither away and die, a young person grows into a walking sack of wrinkles. Nothing is permanent. The point I'm attempting to put forward is the incessant need for people to surround themselves with the 'most beautiful' things possible. Why? Don't they realize that it goes away? When you die, your soul is not going to latch on to any of your stuff. As we learn from 'Fight Club', you are not what you own. You are merely the 'all singing, all dancing crap of the world'. We're all like those stupid monkeys that dance when the music box plays. We are wielded by the hand of life. And sometimes people die. Their beauty goes with them. So I'm just curious as to how somebody can look at a person without speaking to them and see them for who they are. It's blatant stupidity. Like all these stupid females I see. Why are they all after the good looking guys? If they don't look good are they not worthy? What kind of trashy logic is that? When they grow old and their stupid diets and botox injections stop working would they rather be with someone who loves them for who they are or for how they look? Because beauty dies. Always remember that. Then what happens to all those guys they never paid any attention to? They end up with women who are worth it because they appreciate them for who they are. Not how they look or their bank balance. Would you rather spend your life with someone who bitches and moans about how they look? I simply cannot fathom this. Stupidity appears to surround me. I personally would rather spend my life with someone who brings tears to my eyes from laughing too much, or gives me allergies by cooking you something or getting you flowers which you are allergic to. Why the superficiality? Please people. Pull your heads out of your asses and start thinking long-term!

And then everything goes back to zero.

2004-07-27T05:14:00.000+08:00

You know how every up has a down? Why is it that the ups come sporadically and the downs come with Hell's fury all at once. It's terrible. In 5 days the month is ending. Hopefully my streak of bad luck goes with it. Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong. The laws of life appear to be mocking me. But its all good. UP YOURS!

Today is Monday. Blue black Monday. Abusing my senses with the disgusting sight of coming to school. With the revolting necessity of going to class. With the impending doom of 4 more days exactly like it until finally the weekend comes and freedom decends upon me. Unfortunately, it isn't that easy. The days keep staggering on, daring me to sleep in on a school day. Not just daring, compelling me. Alas, here I am...wasting into oblivion as my mind goes void of any form of intelligence, and I wonder. WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! I should be at home. Lying in bed and wallowing in my misery. But nooooooooooo! I had to wake up at 6.30...traumatize my body with cold water and then brace myself to face the mundanity of the day. And here I am. Here I bloody am. In a library with a stupid fool sitting opposite me in 'emo' glasses smiling to himself as he looks at his laptop! I think I'll trip him when he walks past me! Fool! That should make my day better.

1st Wish

2004-07-19T15:51:00.000+08:00

Today...after 3 or 4 months I saw a COCKROACH! Disgusting! Black! Feelered! Baby Cockroach! If I didn't know any better, I'd think there were this conspiracy taking place in the disgusting roach world where they are trying to drive me to insanity! Do not assume that I am squimish. I AM NOT! To date, the only thing in the world I am afraid of is cockroaches. Don't ask me why. Maybe it's hereditary! If I were given 3 wishes, the first would be the rid the world of cockroaches! These disgustingly creepy creatues adapt to everything! What's wrong with them?! I mean they're obviously smarter than us! They have adapted to nuclear power and insecticide! Hell! The ones in Australia have even adapted to being stepped on! They can flatten themselves! How freaky is that? This makes them indestructable! Nooooooooooo! Thank goodness the ones who plague me have not adapted to having books thrown on them. This of course is how I got rid of the stupid little roach that will eventually grow up to produce an egg which will hold 9 more little tormentors who will go on to produce 9 eggs of their own which will hatch and produce 9 more...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Okay okay! You get the point! What a disgusting thought! For anyone who can produce a permanent solution to roaches, I will give you a million dollars!